The Journey of a Wannabe World Changer

Breaking the Silence

2012-02-15T13:34:00.008-08:00

I haven't blogged that much this past year. It just seemed that my blogs were becoming redundant. It seems my life is redundant! Same thing, day in and day out, waiting, waiting, waiting... Chasing this chance or that. Hoping something will happen making a way for us to FINALLY go to the mission field. All the while feeling that if there was a company named Failure, I would be their CEO.

(Side note: Feelings can be feeble and not always a depiction of reality. I have learned to bring my feelings to Abba-Daddy. He is never offended, no matter how ridiculous my emotions or emotional statements may get. He listens, comforts, and adjust my heart and mind to see things more clearly.)

My husband and I have been trying to go to the mission field since graduating college 1o long years ago. There have been seasons of putting our dreams on hold, knowing it wasn't time. There have been lessons learned and necessary growth along the way.

Three years ago, we took our family to Africa for two months. We knew it was time to focus what God called us to do. When we returned, our efforts to become full time missionaries turned in to an uphill battle, and we began the most difficult and most emotional leg of this journey.

Fast forward to the present: for several months we've been working with an amazing company to begin a business in Ghana. This would be beneficial to our ministry and to the community, as well as give us a platform for our main focus of ministry, which is job training and skills development for financial independence.

So far, our efforts have not panned out. Although there has been many disappointments, we know that in His time, it will all work out. God has everything in control, and we are trusting Him.

We have a mandate to go to Ghana, and like never before everything is saying GO NOW. The hubs, who owns his own construction business, hasn't gotten a decent job in awhile. The house we rent is being sold, and is priced to sell quickly. We have people requesting to visit us in Ghana, and projects waiting for us when we get there.

Our desire, what we know God wants us to do, is to live and minister in Ghana. Never have we felt we were to be part time or short term missionaries. Because of this, we've held back waiting for everything to be right. Waiting for all the pieces to be in place so we can go knowing it is "forever". However, there is an element of faith and trust required that "having all your ducks in a row" doesn't allow for. It seems,we are at that place. We've gotta choose to take the leap, and trust that God's got a plan, even if we don't.

So, we're gonna jump. We leave for Africa March 20th. We will stay for at least six months. We are believing that in that time, God is going to make a way for us to stay more permanently. If not, we'll come home, and ask, "What's next, Abba?" Either way, He is faithful. He is good.

Because this is my personal blog, not our ministry blog (although they often cross over), I can be more open about about the emotional roller coaster I've been on, especially in the past six months. There have been so many hopes created and hopes deferred that it's exhausting! I have cried many painful tears and yelled at God for being a big meanie! I've experience every emotion-anger, depression, hope, joy, pain. I've quit, given up the calling, about a million times. He's never felt so far away and so close at the same time.

Six months ago I couldn't have said that if we go to Ghana and have to come home six months later, with no plans of returning, that I would be OK with it. But I am now. Partially from complete exhaustion from fighting for this "calling" for so long. Partially because I know now that it really doesn't matter. What matters is obedience. What matters is knowing Him, trusting Him when it doesn't make sense at all, and resting in His love and faithfulness.

I so desperately want to do something great for my God. I wanna change the world for Him. But I am learning, world-changer status is meaningless to Him. He wants my heart. My love, devotion and willingness to follow is more precious to Him than any world-changing actions I may attempt.

How amazing is that?!

SEE our Ministry post about leaving: http://afnministries.blogspot.com/2012/02/ghana-here-we-come.html

A Year's Adventure

2011-08-20T09:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of one of the most life altering decisions our family has ever made. We packed up all our belongings in a small Uhaul trailer, hooked to our big blue minivan, said good bye to all of our family and friends, and headed out for South Carolina.

What a year it has been! Our trek across the United States was an adventure in itself, seeing Old Faithful and Mount Rushmore, visiting friends and family in Missouri, and viewing the beautiful landscapes across this great country.

This year we have gone to Mexico (twice for my husband) and Washington D.C., and have made friends with missionaries serving around the world.

We participated in an amazing missions training program, and have built life long friendships with some wonderful people with a passion to serve others with a missions call.

Making the decision to move was difficult. It took months of prayer, thinking, and discussing. It was the source of many tears and pain. It is never easy to choose to leave all that is familiar and loved. Stepping out in faith into the great unknown causes a person to take pause; to make a conscious choice to fully trust in the Lord.

The Lord is so good to those who put their trust in Him! He has honored our step of faith and
we have experienced His abundant favor this year. We are so thankful for all He has done.

Our desire in going to South Carolina and the World Outreach Center was to fully focus on getting to Africa. Now, one year later we are weeks away from starting yet another adventure, this time on foreign soil.

At the moment, we are back in Oregon, visiting, and savoring every moment spent with family and friends. We take a moment to give thanks for all He has done this past year, and for all that this next year has in store.

From our AFN Blog: Moving Forward in Faith...

2011-07-04T08:26:00.000-07:00

Our family is schedule to leave for Ghana, West Africa, in just 12 short weeks. EEK!!

As each day passes, I find myself having to daily choose to live out one of my favorite scriptures: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and He will make your paths straight." (Prov 3:5-6)

In the natural, everything is not in place for us to go in 12 weeks. We do not have the monthly support we need. We have several promising possibilities for support, but you can't take a promise to the bank.

I have been here before: scheduled to go, with no finances to leave, and God did not provide. Looking back, if I had listened to Him, I would have heard Him clearly saying, "This is not the path I have for you," and saved myself from a very humbling lesson.

Now that I am here again, I have a choice. I can look at what happened last time, and respond with caution and fear, or I can more forward in faith. I have listened, He has spoken clearly, now is the time to go. I can look at what He has done, and trust that this is the path He has for our family.

God has already miraculously provided all the funds we need to move to Ghana. He is opening doors for us to work with an international company that would help supplement our income while also helping the people of Ghana. He has provided a team member to join us (a HUGE answer to prayer). He's brought us this far, can't I just be at peace and trust that he will bring us the rest of the way?

The doubts play over and over like a broken record in my mind. What if it doesn't work out with this company? Where will the rest of our finances come from then? What if this person or that church doesn't come through on their promise of support? What if September comes and we don't have the finances? What if we didn't hear God clearly? What if, once again, we are wrong??

I like things to be set in place, plans concrete, organized, no room for error, no room for doubt, no need to trust. But if there is no need to trust in God, that means I am in control. If I am in control, then God has no room to do exceedingly abundantly above all that I ask or think (Eph 3:20).

It is for my benefit that He doesn't reveal the whole plan upfront. It is for my benefit that I move forward in faith, trusting that God will make my path straight, according to His perfect will.

As a family we are choosing to move forward in faith. We are submitting and trusting God. Keep praying for us, and together we will see God do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think....

P.S. Did I say a new team member was joining us? Yes I did! Tesia is a young woman who was a part of our missions internship class. She has been living with our family since March. God has spoken to her heart, and she will be joining us in Ghana for three months. We are very excited to have her with us!

Giving Honor

2011-05-07T23:54:00.001-07:00

Today is Mother's Day. A day to honor and say thank you to Moms. At Just Following Jesus , my Mom talked about giving honor where honor is due.

I have a wonderful Mom. She is truly amazing. She was and is a very good Mamma. She deserves all the honor I can give. And, today, I honor her. Thank you, Mom, for being who you are and loving me always.

Seven years ago I became a mommy. I missed celebrating my first Mother's Day by three days. I became a mom because a young lady chose me to be a mom. It wasn't a random choice. I know it was preordained by God. But, there is still that matter of Free Will.

Seven years ago, a young woman chose LIFE. She chose obedience to God's will. She chose selfless love above natural desires. She chose adoption. She chose me.

She did the honorable thing. Each Mother's Day I choose to recognize her. I choose to give her honor and say THANK YOU. Thank you for giving me the honor and pleasure of being mommy to two amazing kids.

I love you, M!!!

Can it really be April already?

2011-04-02T09:14:00.000-07:00

This year is just FLYING by! Seriously, it seems like Christmas was yesterday. Spring promises to be just as busy as winter as we get closer and closer to the big move to Ghana!

Jody just got back from Juarez, Mexico, where he and a team built a roof on an orphanage. The lucky bum got to go with my sister and an old family friend. They had a great time while the kids and I took care of things on the home front.

I recently started a part time job, to help make ends meet and bring home a little extra bacon. Trying to find something that would work with our family's schedule is near impossible. This job basically fell in my lap! Thank you, Jesus!

I work in a Christian call center, answering phones for various Television and Radio ministries. It's open 24-7, so I am able to work evenings, after the kids and hubby are in bed.

About a month ago we took in a new family member. Tesia is a young lady that was in the internship with us. She is as sweet as can be and we are so happy to have her living with us. She is even praying about coming to Africa with us for awhile!

The kids are enjoying the nice spring weather we've been having, playing outside 'till dusk with their friends, building forts, riding bikes, and playing games.

They only have 6 weeks left of school, and are counting down the days. Papa Roscoe made them a BIG promise. "Finish school with As and Bs and I will give you $100.00." That is A LOT of money for little a kid. They have been dreaming of all the things they can buy, "once we are rich."

My babies are growing up quickly and will be 7 and 8 very soon. It's about time they have some of their own adventures. If everything works out, they may be going to spend some time with Nana and Papa with out Mommy and Daddy! I've never been away from my kids for more than two days, so I am not nearly as excited about this as they are.

Life is full and we are blessed. As we move forward in the things God has called us to do, we strive to "Trust God from the bottom of our heart; we don't try to figure out everything on our own. We listen for God's voice in everything we do, everywhere we go; he's the one who will keep us on track." (Prov 3:5-6 Msg)

Grandma

2011-01-31T21:49:00.000-08:00

Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. “ The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “ Therefore I hope in Him!” The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, To the soul who seeks Him. Forever, O LORD, Your word is settled in heaven. Your faithfulness endures to all generations. Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. For the LORD is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations.

Lam 3: 21-234, Ps119:89, Ps 100:4-5

My heart is overflowing with fun and funny memories of Grandma. Like the time she caught Katie and I snooping in Jenn’s diary while my parents were away. She grounded us from the Cosby show, but her Grandma resolve wasn’t that strong. She caved and we watched it anyways. At Grandma’s I was fed a continual diet of toast and butter. She made the best Chex Mix and eights at Christmas time. My favorite gift from Grandma was a homemade night gown perfect for twirling. She loved to play cards and board games with us kids. She introduced me to Jane Austin and the greatest movie of all time, Pride and Prejudice. My Grandma was an excellent Great Grandma to my children. They loved each other so much! I am so thankful that they were able to know her and create fun memories with her.

Grandma is one of my heroes. She endured and was faithful. She was tough, and determined. Some would call this stubbornness, a trait she passed on to many of her children and grandchildren. Over the past decade I watched a transformation happen in Grandma. The Holy Spirit was at work in her, changing her, healing her. She forgave and sought forgiveness. It’s never too late to let Jesus heal your heart. She showed me this.

I can’t help but think of the impact this one little lady has had on the Kingdom of God . Through the pains, hurts, and ugliness of life circumstances, amazing, beautiful life has come forth and multiplied. Represented in this room are thousands of people whose lives have been and will be changed by Jesus Christ through her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and great great grandchildren. What an amazing legacy I have inherited! Thank you, Jesus and Thank you, Grandma. I miss you already and love you forever. Your Favorite, Stephie.

It's a New Year!!

2010-12-31T19:03:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow marks the start of a year; a new decade.

The first decade of the 21st century brought marriage, two children, and numerous trials and triumphs, and countless failures and victories. Through each mistake and each success, growth has occurred; beneficial lessons have been learned.

The final year of this decade has been filled with really BIG changes for my family. It has been a year of moving forward and stepping out in faith like never before. God has a way of stretching your faith as far as it can go, and then when you don't thing you can stretch any more, He shows you His faithfulness and you find yourself expanding, growing into His fullness.

As I think upon the new year, and the new decade, I begin to get butterflies. I know that big things are in store, promises are going to be fulfilled. I want with all my heart to fulfill His perfect will and do the work He has for me to do on this earth.

However, as much as I want to do His work and share His love and salvation with others, there is something I want a thousand times more. A few months back, during a prophetic prayer, my Abba Father said to me, it's your turn, ask whatever you want, it's yours.

One word came to mind. Abide. I want to Abide in Him and He in me. I want to know Him. I want to know and fully understand the Father's love. I want to know the Son and understand the fullness of His sacrifice and suffering.

And so, this is my prayer for me and my family: Father, may I Abide in You, and You in me. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can I, unless I abide in You.

Happy New Year everyone! May His blessings and peace abound in your life this year.

The best is yet to come....

Eternity

2010-12-07T19:15:00.000-08:00

My Grandma is sick. My best friend is in pre-labor. It's the holidays. I want to go home.

It is moments like these that I remind myself, it's not about the now, its about the forever. If all there was to life was compacted into the 75 ish years we receive on earth, goodness knows I wouldn't be spending it here! I wouldn't be itching to live out my life in a third world country with few creature comforts.

If it weren't for eternity, I would have continued my comfortable life in my comfortable city with my comfortable family and friends. I would watch my niece grow up. I would enjoy the fellowship of all my mommy friends as our kids grow up, side by side. I would happily listen to the banter between my husband and his closest friend. I would be content knowing that my children had the love and support of extended family, just minutes away.

If it weren't for eternity, I wouldn't be living by faith, dependent on God to pay the rent. I would put down roots. I would be successful and financially secure.

But the truth is, JESUS is REAL. This life is just a small bleep on the radar of eternity. I will live forever. My Grandma will live forever. I will have eternity to be with the ones I love. I will have eternity to be comfortable and secure.

What I do not have eternity to do is tell others about Jesus, the WAY to eternal life. That is one thing that can only be done here on earth.

So, on days like today, when all I really want to do is be with my Grandma, be with my friend as she welcomes her new son into the world, and celebrate Christmas at my Mom's house like I have done every year since I was born, I think about....

...and I remember. Their Eternity is worth my discomfort. Their Soul is worth so much more than my tiny sacrifice here on earth.

I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. But its death will produce many new kernels—a plentiful harvest of new lives. Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity. Anyone who wants to be my disciple must follow me, because my servants must be where I am. And the Father will honor anyone who serves me.
John 12:24-26

My Pity Party

2010-11-26T07:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I was feeling very sorry for myself. I love holidays with my family. My mom goes out of her way to make everything beautiful and yummy. We eat a lot, watch Christmas movies, and look through all the Black Friday ads. Often, we spend Thanksgiving at the beach, which is my favorite!

This year, we were going to be with my hubby's family. We haven't been with his family for any holidays for nine years! It's always been too expensive to fly during thanksgiving or Christmas.
So, now that we are locals, it's finally their turn.

At the last minute, the family decided to go out of town. They had their reasons, and we understood. We couldn't go, so, here we are, alone. Hubby has been working in his home town, and had to work the day before and after the holiday, so we weren't even home alone in our house, we were alone at his Dad's house. At least for me, it was not the most ideal of circumstances.

Hub's childhood best friends invited us to their home for dinner. They are very kind and generous people and we had a good time.

Still, it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to be with my family, and if I couldn't then at least it was because I was being a kind wife and sacrificing to be with his family. Now, neither applied and that just stinks!

I tried to shake my bad mood all day. I mean, I realize I have nothing to complain about. I get to eat more food today than most people in the world will eat for an entire week. I have a home, clothes, and family.

My mind knew these facts, but my soul still wanted to pout.

Then, a face book post snapped me out of my self pity state. The post was a link to a blog about a little boy who is dying of cancer. His body is shutting down, and this will be his last Thanksgiving.

The blog linked was shared by a man who has every reason in the world to complain, but, at least in my interactions with him, rarely does. His daughter is in remission from cancer. His wife is dying of ALS. This, too, may be her last Thanksgiving.

The truth is, I am blessed beyond measure and reason. I have nothing, ever, to really complain about, and in all things I should give thanks.

Thank YOU, LORD, for all your goodness, kindness, and mercy, that you have shown to me and my family. Forgive my grumbling and complaining spirit.

You want me to do what?

2010-11-07T16:33:00.001-08:00

Throughout the Body of Christ, God is restoring the arts. Creativity and Expression are gifts from the Father. The ability to paint, draw, write songs, poetry, play music, all are reflections of His heart. Beautiful worship presented at His feet.

I appreciate this movement. But, this is one river of the spirit I don't tend to wade into.

However, on Wednesday, our class assignment was to write a song or poem. WHAT? I don't think so. Quickly after, I put it out of my mind. Teasing at home that I would have my creative daughter do the assignment for me.

Then today, when riding in the car, watching her giggle, seeing her birth mom's features shine through, the Lord put a poem in my heart. It is not fancy or well done, but it will pass for the assignment.

Abba’s Gift

You are present in every giggle,
Each smile, a reflection, personal.

A twinkling eye beaming forth a story of grace,
Your selfless love shining through her face.

An earthly portrait of an Eternal mystery.
Adoption, Abba’s gift to me.

Latest Blog on AFN site

2010-09-18T07:45:00.000-07:00

Check it out....

http://afnministries.blogspot.com/2010/09/has-it-really-been-month.html

Update on the family.

We're on the road and I am blogging...

2010-08-25T19:37:00.000-07:00

I have two blogs. This blogs is for my personal thoughts/reflections. The other is for our family and ministry, to keep everyone updated. I have been blogging over at Ask For the Nations during our trip to South Carolina, so for updates, check it out and follow me at: http://afnministries.blogspot.com/

Truth vs Protection

2010-07-08T21:45:00.001-07:00

It is not a secret nor a forbidden topic. My children are adopted. It does not define them, but it is a part of who they are. Adoption is a beautiful, Biblical principal. My children know their birth mother, and see her more often than the standard open adoption calls for.

My children know their adoption stories. They come from the same mother and father. My son, was 'ours' since before He was born. I was blessed that our birth mom allowed me to go to every single dr appointment, and allowed me, my sister, and my mother in the birth room with her. I stayed at the hospital with my son, and aside from the two hours of the adoption paper signing, he never left my sight.

Son doesn't ask much about Birth Mother or his adoption. All he remembers, all he has ever know, is us as mom and dad. For now, that is all he cares about.

My daughter is 11 months older than my son. At 2 1/2 yrs old, she came to live with us. Temporarily at first, then forever. Daughter remembers being with her birth mom, and remembers coming to be with us. Her transition into our family was difficult at times. She was too young to understand the changes.

We have talked about her adoption story often. Each time, a little more information is given, daughter's curiosity to understand becoming stronger.

Yesterday, my daughter showed me that she is growing up. She is ready and wants to know more of the truth of her past. My standard answers were being challenged.

I am faces with a decision. I can continue to sugar coat the truth for the sake of "protection," or I can be fully honest, hoping that the whole truth will bring peace to her little spirit.

I choose full honesty, in words she understands. She listens intently, asking questions as we go. Our talk finishes and she gives me a big hug. "Mommy, thanks for telling me about my story."

Revival Past

2010-06-21T09:55:00.000-07:00

Father's Day 1995. God chose to pour out His Spirit on a small town in the panhandle of Florida. A modern-day revival that lasted over five years. My children will read about the Pensacola Outpouring in Christian history books, just as I read about the Welsh Revival and Azusa Street.

I was there. I am a product of revival. For two years, I spent countless hours in His Presence. Seeking His face, experiencing His overwhelming love and power. I saw thousands saved, healed, delivered, baptized. I learned from, listened to, and was prayed for by many amazing men and women of God.

Ten years later, reflecting back, I remember what my professors said: revival is not enough. An experience will not sustain you. Only a relationship can sustain you. Relationships take work and time. They have highs and lows. Don't let go of the Father's love. Stay connected to His heart. Seek His heart and His presence on your own.

I nodded in agreement, thinking His manifest presence would always be here. I did not understand the warning they were issuing. Life outside the "revival bubble" was brutal. The Psalmist words, "better is one day in your presence than a thousand elsewhere," took on new meaning.

Not everyone who was there survived the aftermath that is "normal life". Many have fallen away or returned to a mediocre life. I, too, have failed to maintain the stamina of revival. Mediocrity is commonplace, the days of His manifest presence far and few between.

My relationship with Jesus, founded fourteen years before my revival experience, has sustained me. It has lacked perfection and passion, yet the longing has never lacked. His grace, His forever faithfulness, His everlasting love keeps me longing for more of Him. Longing to know Him. Longing to see Him.

..."Please. Let me see your Glory." YHWH (Yahweh) said, "I will make my Goodness pass right in front of you; I'll call out the name, YHWH, right before you...But you may not see my face. No one can see me and live...Look, here is a place right beside me. Put yourself on this rock. When my Glory passes by, I'll put you in the cleft of the rock and cover you with my hand until I've passed by. Then I'll take my hand away and you'll see my back. But you won't see my face." (Ex 33:18-23)

When You said, “Seek My face,” My heart said to You, “Your face, LORD, I will seek.” (Ps 27:8)

Father to the Fartherless

2010-06-19T20:14:00.000-07:00

"Father of orphans, champion of widows, is God in his holy house. " Ps. 68:5 (msg) "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." Js. 1:27

http://www.growninmyheart.com/what-i-wanted-to-say-adoption-and-the-view

I read this blog today. Of course, there is a special place in my heart for adoption. There are so many children all around the world and in our back yard in need of families. I wish we were ready to adopt again right now!!!!!

Personally, I think that everyone who calls themselves a Believer in Jesus Christ should be involved in adoption or the care of orphans in one way or another. No matter your circumstance, there is an adoption/orphan circumstance that will mesh with your specific situation. Honestly, the possibilities and opportunities are limitless.

Don't have a lot of money? Adopting wards of the state cost virtually nothing.

Don't have the patience for baby or toddler-hood? Older children are the least likely to be adopted, and are more available than younger children.

Single, but have the heart of a mother/father? You're still eligible for adoption in many countries for children of all ages.

Can you only tolerate children in small doses? Become a temporary or emergency foster home. You can offer hope and love that will see a child through their scariest and darkest moments.

Are you an empty nester, or do you have a heart to help teens or young adults? The following paragraph really tugged at my heart.

"I wanted to talk about the 18-year-olds I regularly see on adoption photolistings. Kids like Percell who, despite being old enough to live independently, place themselves on national photolistings because they desperately want to be adopted. Because, in Percell’s words, he “wants to become a member of a permanent family”. I wanted to talk about what life must be like for Percell, and other kids like him, who age out of the fostercare system despite a deep desire to have a family even as they enter adulthood."

Even if you can't adopt or foster children of any age, you can mentor kid, and of course, giving financially helps, too.

Tomorrow is Father's Day. I am blessed because I have a WONDERFUL Dad. I belong. I have never---not even for a moment---experiences a lack of Fatherly love and acceptance.

Thousands of children (and adults) will never----not even for a moment---experience fatherly love and acceptance in their life time. This breaks my heart. It breaks my Heavenly Father's heart.

Let's be the church. Let's take care of the orphans and the fatherless.

So long good impressions, hello total embarassment.

2010-06-02T10:15:00.000-07:00

I don't embarrass easily. Seriously, it takes A LOT to turn my face red. Right now, my face is red. Very red.

Let me set the picture. It's 10am. I am in my pj's (a tank and sweats), hair greasy, face unwashed. I am listening to IHOP while I get my chores done for the day.

My niece is here and my kids are doing a pretty great job at keeping her entertained, as usual.

A few minutes earlier we had turned Skype on to see if Auntie Katie was at home. She wasn't.

I am in the kitchen. The computer with IHOP playing is in the family room.

"Mom, E is pushing buttons on the computer."

"E, no, no."

"Son, get away from the computer."

"Son, why are you waving at the computer?"

"E turned on the camera."

"What? How in the world did she do that!"

In all my greasy, pj, glory, I go to the computer, quite unprepared for what I am about to find.

E did not just turned on a camera. E has called someone. And she hasn't just called any one. She has called Mr. C.

Yep. My son isn't just waving to himself. He's waving and making funny faces at my former professor.

I am suddenly very aware of how unrepresentable I look.

I sit down and apologize, explaining what happened. He is very gracious.

I am ready to quickly end this call an go craw into a hole. Instead, he's ready to chat. Turns out, he was in the middle of sending my husband and I a message.

As we chat (me still very aware of my less than acceptable appearance), my children (with my niece going right along with them) decide this is a good time to show off how silly they can be. They continue to wave at the camera, make faces at the camera, make silly noises at the camera, kick at the camera, show their toys to the camera.....you get the idea.

Here I am, trying to be "professional" and save what little dignity I have left, while my kids are doing their best to completely sabotage my efforts.

Eventually they get so rowdy I can't even hear what he is saying. Our call ends, and I go looking for that hole to crawl in and die of complete embarrassment.

As embarrassed as I am, I see the humor in the situation, and chuckle to myself.

Once again, my kids have succeeded at keeping me humble.

:-)

2010-05-28T09:53:00.001-07:00

http://afnministries.blogspot.com/2010/05/gloryify-god-by-enjoying-him.html

MY MOMMY

2010-05-09T16:47:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I just blogged about the journey of motherhood for me. Now it's time to brag about my Mommy.

My mom is one of the most amazing women I know. She is strong, determined, kind and caring.

She has given my a Godly heritage that I will pass on to my kids. She taught me to love Jesus by example. I can still see her in her room praying next to her bed. I can hear her singing worship songs as she cleans the house. I can see her Bible, all marked up. I can see her showing love and forgiveness towards others, even those who hurt her.

Being a mom myself now, I truly appreciate all she has done for me. I know I was a thousand times more ornery than my children are, so how she survived raising me is nothing less than a miracle.

I have just as many fun memories of my mom as I do serious ones. I thought I would list a few here.

Playing name that tune.

Hiking up Multnomah Falls with our friends, asking how was she and her friend were able to drag their big bottoms up the hill. (It's a wonder she didn't smack me for that one!)

Going on the roller coasters because Dad was too chicken to take us.

Mom's corny jokes.

Rending the bike cart at seaside.

Mom sledding with us in the back yard.

Happy Mother's Day, mom. I love you!!!

Mom's Day

2010-05-09T15:51:00.000-07:00

Six Mother's Days ago, I was three days away from being a mom for the first time. I am not a mom because of natural conception. I am a mom because of God's Divine Design of Adoption. I am a mom because a young woman chose life instead of abortion. I am a mom because that young woman chose me, trusted me to do what she couldn't; raise her baby.

God has a perfect plan and destiny for my two children. He knew that in order to fulfill their destiny they would need the genetic DNA of Her, and the nurturing care of me. From the beginning of time, adoption was ALWAYS His plan for my children, but it took Her making the choice. It took Her making a sacrifice.

I remember the moment I became a mom. The moment my son was born. As the nurses took him away to be cleaned up, I hugged the one who birthed him, both of us crying. She tears of pain, me tears of joy.

Flash forward eighteen months, that some young woman entrusts me once again with her daughter. Eyes full of brokenness, she walks away, knowing that once again she has chosen what is best for her child.

So today, as I reflect on what made me a mom, I am not remembering nine months of physical uncomfortableness or hours of painstaking labor. I am remembering the months of prayer, the months of walking in faith, and months of anticipation. I am remembering a girl who chose life. A girl I will forever be connected to by the two people who made us both Mothers.

Happy Mother's Day M. I love you.

Big little brother

2010-04-29T08:56:00.001-07:00

My children, who are 11 months apart to the day, are the best of friends and the worst of enemies. They fight A LOT. They are really mean to each other sometimes. They annoy each other on purpose, and try to get each other in trouble.

They also play together A LOT. When they are apart, even for just a day, they miss each other. They sleep in the same room, by choice, and often in the same bed. When one gets gets a special treat, they make sure to get one for the other.

My Son by nature is a protector. He wants to be an "army guy" when he grows up, so he can help people. He has a very tender heart and watches out for other, especially if they are smaller. If someone is picking on his sister, you can be sure that he will be right there defending her.

Yesterday, Daughter, who tends to be slightly accident prone, fell down a hill while she and brother were on a hike with Daddy. She hurt her back, and when she was still complaining about the pain at bed time, we decided to be safe rather than sorry and get her checked out.

As we head to Nana's to drop off Son, he beaks down in tears. "I don't want sister to be hurt. What is the Dr. going to do to her?" He was so worried about the welfare of his sister.

I have two sisters and we are very close. We watched out for each other, protecting each other. It was always my prayer that my kids, too, would have that close relationship. I am so grateful that they do, and I pray that it continues into adulthood.

Very Proud Mom

2010-04-06T12:28:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday, my daughter, who is growing up way too quickly, chose to be baptized. I didn't know if she was ready, if she really understood what it meant, but she did and she was.

Above all else, I want my children to know Jesus, personally, all the days of their life. I know she loves Jesus, and I know that He touched her heart in a special way as she chose to publicly proclaim that He is her Lord and Savior.

It was a very special day for her and for us. We are so proud of the young lady she is becoming.

Easy Fundraiser

2010-03-18T11:55:00.001-07:00

We have something new and exciting we'd like to share with you! It's the new Ask For the Nations Ministries toolbar - once added to IE or Firefox, each time you shop at more than 1,300 stores (from Amazon to Zazzle!) a percentage of your purchase will automatically be donated to Ask For the Nations Ministries - at no cost to you (and you may even save money as the toolbar provides coupons and deals as well!). The toolbar also has a search box and each time you search the Internet, about a penny is donated to Ask For the Nations Ministries. http://www.goodsearch.com/toolbar/ask-for-the-nations-ministries

Not only will you be giving each time you search, but if you frequently make online purchases, if you connect to your favorite store through goodsearch.com, a portion of your purchase will be donated to Ask For the Nations.

Some of the stores included:
Ebay
Amazon
ITUNES (I was excited about that one)
Best Buy
1800 Flowers
Home Depot
etc....

YAY! We're going back to Africa!

2010-02-24T10:18:00.000-08:00

Click HERE for a special announcement! :-)

A broken momma....

2010-02-03T15:16:00.001-08:00

She has given me two of the most precious gifts. Gifts for which I could never repay. Our relationship is unique. Often unheard of for two in our predicament.

She has betrayed me, hurt me, lied to me. There have been moments where I have been so angry with her, fuming with hate. Yet, I love her. I love her with a deep love that just won't go away. Others ask, why do you bother? Why don't you just walk away? My answer is always the same. I just can't. I often wish I could. Watching her self destruct is painful.

I don't just see the outward self destruction. I see her brokenness. I see her true self, scared, wounded, unable to attach, unable to love. I see her loneliness, and her longing. Longing for someone to love her unconditionally. Longing for someone to care. I see who she could be, who she was created to be.

She is wounded, and doesn't know how to receive healing. She knows of Jesus and His power, of His unending love, but in her brokenness she isn't able to receive it, to let it change her completely.

She says, "I am afraid to be normal, afraid to feel." What it must be like to live with so much pain. What I wouldn't do to take it all away. I sit here, listening, feeling helpless.

In her brokenness, she chose to obey. She chose to listen to the Holy Spirit. She chose life. She chose me to do what she could not. She may never experience wholeness, but because of Jesus her children will. They will know the Father's love. They will know the love of a family, they will know safety, comfort, peace, joy and His grace and mercy.

I want them to know her, too. I see her in their faces each time they smile. I want them to hear her tell a story of God's restoration power. It's not too late. It's never too late to surrender.

Jesus, work a miracle. Set her up with a divine appointment. Bring full restoration to her life. May she be able to receive your love, grace and mercy. Heal her completely. Restore her completely. Give her a Genesis Week in the chaos of her life. Amen.

PRAY!!!

2010-01-13T09:31:00.000-08:00

I sit here in my comfy home, listening to my kids as they giggle and play. I am thankful for the peace in our home, in our lives. I take a moment to enjoy it and thank God for His goodness.

Many around me face very dark circumstances. Darker than I can imagine. My heart is grieved. I know I am helpless, except for one thing. I have access to the One, Jesus Christ, who is most powerful. And so, I pray. Will you join me?

The people of Haiti: facing destruction and the loss of life.

The Adams: Mom has familia ALS, not expected to live past this year. Daughter suffers from Cerebral Palsey, and is currently in recession from cancer. She has many medical issues as a result of radaiation.

The Gordons: Mom pregnant, unborn baby diagnosed with Trisomy 18, under developed heart and kidneys.

Heather: Daughter dies of abuse by father and fiance. Other daughter seriously abused by the same people, but survies.

Roberta: Went to the hospital yesterday for severe pain in her leg. Dr's believe she has very advanced cancer.

Family Friends: Need a miracle in their marriage and family.

Goodbye 20's...

2010-01-11T23:32:00.000-08:00

Another decade has come and gone, and taken my twenties along with it. Yes, I will be turning the big 30 this year, and dreading it already. It is not the issue of age or becoming older that I dread, but the fact that so much time has passed.

I look back at my twenties with a mix of emotions. I reached big milestones---marriage, motherhood. God had provided, protected and blessed me beyond measure. I have so much to be thankful for. However, woven among the blessings and good times, have come some serious challenges and hard times.

As I face the close of a decade and the start of another, I feel frustrated. I wasted so much time---valuable time. I look back and see how I could have done things better. I look at my current state of being and think, I should be better than this! I should be further along than this! It is as if time was moving in a fast forward motion, yet I was stuck in slow motion.

I was blessed to be able to spend the first week of this new decade at the International House of Prayer in KC, Mo. It was so nice to be able to get away and spend hours in His Presence. Being reminded that it is all about our love relationship with Jesus. The more time I spend loving Him and allowing Him to love me, the better I am at life.

Someone spoke/prayed this word from the Lord over all of those present "I know you are a work in progress, but don't you know I love the process?" Wow. He really does. My life is woven in His. He doesn't look at my life and think "Yeah, you really should be further along. I am really disappointed in you." He says, "I know where you are at, and I know where you are going. Let's go together. It's the journey together I enjoy."

So, as I face my 30's head on, and contemplate the many changes I want/need to make, I remember the most important. Loving and being loved by God. I want to look back 10 years from now,not frustrated about the coulda, woulda, shoulda, but with satisfaction. The satisfaction that comes from knowing, despite all that life brought--both good and bad-- I spent the last 10 years head-over-heels in love with my Savior.

I'm in love, I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it!

2009-12-16T21:17:00.000-08:00

He was the new college roommate of my childhood friend. A cute, polite, southern boy. I asked him my preliminary questions. His answers were incorrect. Time passes. A few friendly waves from a distance. Polite small talk as we gather with friends. A bit of a crush forms.

Then, it happened. As we prepare for a school activity together, I hear His still small voice. "This is it. He's the one."

WHAT? Really? But God, He didn't answer my questions right. (As if my questions mean anything to the Creator.) Sure, he's nice, but are you sure?

"Trust in me."

More time passes. A friendship forms, and I fall absolutely head over heels in love. He asks for my hand, and I say yes.

Nine years later, and I am still crazy about that southern boy. He is my best friend, my partner in life.

Thank You, Lord, for my husband. You are a good Creator God. Your plans for us are perfect and good. You created us with each other in mind, with our children in mind. Thank You for all you have done for us. Thank you for blessing and protecting our marriage. Thank you for nine wonderful years together.

Love Languages

2009-12-11T23:03:00.000-08:00

While sewing with my daughter today, she began to make up a song. "I love Daddy. I love Mommy. I love Brother. I love Papa. I love Nana. I love my family because they spend time with me."

My daughter requires constant attention. She talks non stop about anything and everything (a challenge for this mommy who has a hard time concentrating on more than one thing). She craves interaction. She craves love. She craves time. This her love language. Time. This is how she knows I love her. Time.

Having a child whose primary love language is time can be draining. It requires a lot more of you.

My son is quite opposite. He enjoys playing alone. As long as someone is on the same floor in the house as him (he hates being alone), he requires little attention. Instead, he gets his love from hugs and snuggles and kisses and wrestle matches with Dad and Sister. A much easier love tank to fill.

As she was singing, I was feeling guilty and remembering how important it is that I keep her love tank full, no matter how challenging. Too often, I brush her off. I get frustrated. I tell her to be quiet. I tell her, "We'll talk later. We'll do this together later." But often, later never comes. I get swept up in the busy-ness of life.

It its moments like these, listening to her made up song, spelling out what she needs from me, that I remember. There is very little in this life that is more important than me loving her with my time. There is very little that cannot be put on hold so that I can listen to the ramblings, look at the latest piece of art, or play another round of uno.

Lord, thank you for Daughter. Thank you for the wonder that she is. Thank you for her uniqueness. Help me to love her right. Help me to be patient and not get frustrated. Help me to give her all she needs. Help me to be the mom she requires. May she feel and know Your love through me. Amen

P.S. The Five Love Languages for Children by Gary Chapman is a must read for any parent! :-)

Christmas Time....

2009-12-08T10:05:00.000-08:00

We started early, decorating before Thanksgiving so that it would be all ready for Auntie Katie's return home. Thanksgiving was full of tradition....the day at Jenn's with lots of food, family and friends. Followed by a day of shopping, parade, naps, and leftovers.

Saturday after Thanksgiving was tree day. The past few years, due to lack of funds, we have bought a tagged tree from the tree farm. Tagged trees are not the most beautiful of trees, but they are 25 dollars cheaper! This year, we went to the tree farm with every intention to buy the biggest regular tree we could find. Yet, once we arrived, where is the first place we go? Yep, to the tagged trees. It's like a treasure hunt...finding the best looking tree among the worst of the trees. At first it was just to look, and then a decision was made. This will be a new tradition. Picking a clearance tree. We got a good one this year. It is big and full. It was COVERED in prickly tree branch/needles from another tree, and took a bit of work to get it house ready, but it was worth it.

That evening, we decorated the tree together. This year, mom and dad put the lights on, and the kids did the rest. (With the exception of a few very special, breakable ornaments) They were so proud of their work, and did pretty good.

This year, I am stepping outside the box and helping my kids make homemade gifts for everyone. First, let me say, whoever said that homemade gifts were more economical is a LIAR!!!! I have spent more on the supplies for their homemade presents than on anything else I bought. But, that's not the point, right?

Son is working with his dad to make gifts from wood. I am working with Daughter on a long list of sewing projects. The first two on her list (which she came up with on her own) were much too difficult for her, so mommy ended up doing all but a few of the finishing details. The rest are simple enough for her to handle on her own. We are using the sewing machine (which belongs to my sister) and she has already got the hang of it!

My mom had the idea to countdown the days of Christmas by placing a different name of Jesus on a Jesse Branch. We decided to do this as apart of our family devotions. We are all enjoying learning the different names of Jesus. And praying them back to Him.

I am so enjoying this season! Relaxed and peaceful, enjoying lots of time with the family creating things, learning things, celebrating Jesus. He is our King of Kings, born to save us from our sins. Thank You, Jesus!!

Celebrating the Prince of Peace

2009-11-28T18:17:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas! I love December! I am extra excited about the season this year.

Jody and I will have been married nine years on the 17th. This will be our 10th Christmas together. I remember our first Christmas. We had just returned from our honeymoon in Victoria, BC. It was my bright idea that we fly home to Florida on Christmas Eve, so we could spend our first Christmas together in our new home, just the two of us.

I seriously underestimated what a bad idea that was. I had never been away from my family on Christmas. I cried when my Dad dropped us off at the airport. I cried while we sat on the plane waiting to take off. My poor hubby didn't know what to do. He kept telling me that we didn't have to go home. We could get off the plane.

We went home and had a nice Christmas. But, we were so lonely for our family that we left shortly after our small Christmas dinner and drove all night to South Carolina, stopping half way there to get a bit of sleep at a rest stop (boy were we young and dumb!), to be with Jody's family for the rest of the holiday.

Since then, all of our Christmases have been spent with family. Yet, the season has always brough some sort of chaos.

Through the years we have have moved 3 times, renovated a home, bought a home, been unemployed, gone through major financial crisis, and prepared for a huge mission trip, all in the month of December. That is just craziness!

Last December we prayed that 2009 would be a year of peace. That the Prince of Peace would reign in our home and in our lives. 2009 has not been without its problems, but it has been the greatest year we have experienced together. We have been living in His Peace. In His Peace there is simplicity, order, and rest. In His peace there is no room for stress and chaos.

This year, more than any other, I am exited to celebrate the birth of Jesus, my Prince of Peace. We have cleared the calendar. We have cut out all the busyness. We have made time to celebrate together. To learn together. To worship together.

The Do-Over Button of Mercy.

2009-11-19T14:29:00.001-08:00

But You, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in mercy and loving-kindness and truth. Ps. 86:15

If you could go back and change one thing, what would it be? Many who are asked this question say, "Nothing. I have learned from all I have gone through." I am NOT one of those people. I most certainly agree that I have learned from my mistakes. Yet, if given the chance to change one thing, my only delay would be in selecting just one from my mile long list of things I wish I had not done or said, and an even longer list of things I wish I had done or said.

If I could have a do over, I would absolutly take it! But, God doesn't give us a do over button. Instead, he gives us His forgiveness, grace and mercy, and the promise that He will work all things together for good for those who trust in Him. He is able to take any mistake, any mess, and turn it into something beautiful that brings Him glory.

For me, this year has been a year of learning to trust in Him. A year of learning to allow God to be my hero and defender, even when I feel I don't deserve it. A year of learning to humble myself and ask God to clean up the messes I made that are bigger than me. But the biggest lesson I have learned this year is mercy. I have learned (am still learning) what mercy is and what it means to receive it.

In a recent sermon, my Dad defined the difference between grace and mercy. Mercy deals with the consequences. Oh, thank goodness for His mercy! Thank goodness that He is big enough to handle the consequences of my wrongs, and in His mercy shields me from them.

Lord, thank You. Thank You for Your forgiveness. Thank You for Your grace. Thank You for Your provision. Thank You for Your protection. You have protected myself and my family from the consequences of my sin, and You have show me mercy. Thank You for Your Mercies. Thank You for mercy that endures forever, and is new every morning.

I have always loved Ps. 91, but this year, as I have learned more about trusting Him and His mercy, it has become real and life changing. Especially verse 8.

1HE WHO [a]dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty [Whose power no foe can withstand].
2I will say of the Lord, He is my Refuge and my Fortress, my God; on Him I lean and rely, and in Him I [confidently] trust!
3For [then] He will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence.
4[Then] He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings shall you trust and find refuge; His truth and His faithfulness are a shield and a buckler.
5You shall not be afraid of the terror of the night, nor of the arrow (the evil plots and slanders of the wicked) that flies by day,
6Nor of the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor of the destruction and sudden death that surprise and lay waste at noonday.
7A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand, but it shall not come near you.
8Only a spectator shall you be [yourself inaccessible in the secret place of the Most High] as you witness the reward of the wicked.
9Because you have made the Lord your refuge, and the Most High your dwelling place,(A)
10There shall no evil befall you, nor any plague or calamity come near your tent.
11For He will give His angels [especial] charge over you to accompany and defend and preserve you in all your ways [of obedience and service].
12They shall bear you up on their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone.(B)
13You shall tread upon the lion and adder; the young lion and the serpent shall you trample underfoot.(C)
14Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore will I deliver him; I will set him on high, because he knows and understands My name [has a personal knowledge of My mercy, love, and kindness--trusts and relies on Me, knowing I will never forsake him, no, never].
15He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
16With long life will I satisfy him and show him My salvation.

The thrill!

2009-11-11T11:15:00.000-08:00

"Oh Boy!" She said. "I'm gonna do it!" The choice had been made long ago in her Spirit. God had spoken. Her soul had finally caught up.

Sometimes, in our Spirit, we know what God has spoken, but it takes us awhile to make the leap and commit to what He is asking. For me, when it is something I really want already, it makes it harder. I have convinced myself that my will was His before. It has made me gun shy. I ask myself, is it me or is it really Him? What about timing? Sometimes it is His will but not His time. What if I miss it? What if I fail?

Truth is, If I am His beloved and in tune with His heart, my desires become His desires. He does not hide His will from me. He does not hide His timing from me. In the quiet place, in stillness before Him, heart open, He speaks. Yet, the unknown, the weight of responsibility, the potential failure to hit the mark, these things make me hesitate.

Last night, I was reminded of the thrill. The thrill that comes from committing to His will. The thrill that comes from declaring and making known His will. The thrill of entering the unknown where total dependence on God and His provision is required. There is nothing like it!

Lord, I feel your stirring to make the leap. Give me wisdom. Guide my steps. I desire Your perfect will and timing. Show me when to go, when to wait, when to stop. I want to know and hear your voice clearly. Above all else, I want draw closer to you and please you in all that I do.

Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; reverently fear and worship the Lord and turn [entirely] away from evil. Prov 3:5-6

Amazon.com

2009-11-09T21:40:00.001-08:00

If you are going to be doing any holiday shopping on amazon.com, be sure to begin by first going to our website (http://www.afnministries.org/) or blog. Click on the amazon.com link. That is all you have to do. Each time you make a purchase by going to our website or blog first, we receive a 4-10% referral fee for your transaction. All monies go to AFN!! Happy Shopping!!

P.S. There is a link on both my personal blog and AFN blog.

Thankfulness pt 4

2009-11-09T09:23:00.001-08:00

Thank God! Call out his Name! Tell the whole world who he is and what he's done! Sing to him! Play songs for him! Broadcast all his wonders! Revel in his holy Name, God-seekers, be jubilant! Study God and his strength, seek his presence day and night; Remember all the wonders he performed, the miracles and judgments that came out of his mouth. (1 Cor 16 The Message)

I am thankful for...

66. An amazing deal on a Christmas gift for my hubby.

67. Being able to help a friend.

68. Kids cuddling together on the couch watching cartoons.

69. Great coupon deals.

70. Babysitting my beautiful niece.

71. Encouraging words from a friend.

72. Friends who know how to fix cars.

73. Fun times with my kids creating things.

74. Funny things my kids say.

75. Cousin Amy and her girls

76. Fun times with friends.

77. Daughter's desire to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

Reaping sown seed....

2009-11-09T00:46:00.000-08:00

It was our entire life savings; monies received at our wedding. We'd managed to hold onto it for nearly two years. The need was urgent. We prayed. We obeyed. This act of giving in obedience, both in times of abundance and times of need, would be repeated throughout our marriage.

We have faced several financial crisis in our nearly nine years of marriage. Times of unemployment, times of foolish decisions, times of living beyond our means, even a time of bankruptcy.

Yet, through it all, we remained faithful in one thing, obedient in tithe and in giving. We sowed good seed. I wish I could say that we were consistently faithful, obedient, stewards with the other 90% Truth be told, bad seed was sown right alongside the good seed.

Through the years, He has remained faithful--abundantly faithful--even during the hard times that we brought upon ourselves. This was not enough to keep me from asking the forbidden question: Why them and not us? Where is our "blessing"? Why are we just getting by? I knew my questions were not justified. Some crops grow faster than others. The return on investment from poor financial decisions is often much quicker than that of good ones.

In this season in our life, we are reaping from the good seed. We have learned from our mistakes, and strive to be good stewards with all He gives us. We are enjoying the blessings.

Today, we were able to meet a need. Honestly, I was reluctant at first, wanting to use that money for my own wants. My husband said, "What good is it to be doing well (financially) if we can't use it to bless others?" He was so right. I repented. We obeyed.

By the evening, God had returned to us what He asked us to give.

"Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test!" Malachi 3:10

Marshmallows, Toothpicks, Needle and Thread

2009-11-05T14:11:00.000-08:00

As I have mentioned before, I am not a creative person. This doesn't mean I never have a creative thought or that I lack the ability to be creative once in a while. Arts and Crafts--of any sort--are just not my thing.

I have been blessed with two VERY creative kids. They love all sorts of art and craft projects. They enjoy any sort of building or creating. Since I home school, I am forced to go out side my comfort zone, or zone of enjoyment, in order to nurture their creative spirit. (Thankfully, there are thousands of resources out there to help.)

While at a home school trip to an OMSI lab, the kids learned about bridges. After learning about the basic structure of a bridge, they were given toothpicks, stale marshmallows, pasta, and construction paper to build a bridge. Son really got into this project and built a bridge strong enough to hold a small car. He has been begging to do the same project at home ever since.

Daughter didn't particularly enjoy bridge building. she did enjoy making different designs with the toothpicks and marshmallows.

Daughter has been begging and begging for quite awhile to learn to sew. (Truth is, I can sew fairly well. I just don't enjoy it.) While at the library this week, she checked out "Kids Can Quilt." It is filled with sewing instructions and projects. She has been pouring over this book, and asking, over and over, when she will get to make something.

Finally, today, I caved. The marshmallows we bought last week had been sitting out and were
nice and stale. Son got right to work house/bridge. He worked on his project for two hours solid! That is unheard of for my busy little guy!

I got some scraps of material, left over from the curtains I made for our tent trailer two years ago, and traced a circle onto the fabric. With all the patience I could muster, I began to teach Daughter to sew. She caught on quickly! She stuck with the practice stitching, even when she messed up and had to do it over--a first for my "if it's too hard, forget it," daughter. Before too long, she managed to finish her practice stitches and make a small pillow for her Barbie.

My kids looked at me with eyes full of joy and thankfulness. It was worth it. Thank You, Lord, that when I am weak, you are strong---even in the small things like arts and crafts. You take my limited abilities and stretch them to meet the needs of my children. You are a wonderful, creative, God.

Thankfunessl pt 3

2009-11-01T20:28:00.000-08:00

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (The Message)
16-18Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.

I am thankful for...

55. Husband who went to the store for me, used the list and coupons, all just so I didn't have to go out in the pouring rain.

56. My son encouraging his sister with kind words.

57. Daughter's growing heart of worship.

58. Our neighbor who was able and willing to fix our car.

59. Our church children's workers.

60. Challenging message on Sunday.

62. Skype

63. M&M's group on FB

64. Monday Family dinner with kid frosted cupcakes

65. The Holiday Season we are entering

Parenting tips?

2009-10-27T11:51:00.000-07:00

I am most certainly not the best one to ask when it comes to parenting tips. I am learning as I go along. I often feel that I have more blunders than successes. Thank You, LORD, for your grace that covers all those blunders!

Thankfully, there is a wealth of wisdom out there that one can glean from. I get new ideas and inspirations from friends, books, blogs, Internet, sometimes even from myself! I thought I would share a few I have picked up. Some I have used, some I have been meaning to use but haven't got around to yet.

IDEAS:

Potty training in 3 days--(I have it if you want to use it.) Prepare yourself for lots of accidents and arm yourself with lots of low sugar treats. If you are diligent your kid will be potty trained in 3 days--even at night. (I used this method, except for the night thing. I wimped out and used pull ups at night.)

Blanket Quiet Time--this is from the Duggars. I learned of it too late to use it. They give their toddlers a toy on a blanket for quiet play. They can't leave the blanket. Great tool for teaching self discipline.

Family Rules---stole this from the Newtons. We started this when the kids were 1 1/2 and 2 1/2. We have 6 basic family rules (each with a scripture). They are typed out and hang in our school room. We review the rules almost daily, some times several times a day if they are being broken. If a rule is broken, there is a consequence. (We used to have the consequences printed out with scriptures, too.) Our family rules: 1. Love Jesus, 2. Love each other, 3. Obey Mommy and Daddy, 4. Tell the truth: No Lying, 5. Be kind: No biting, hitting, scratching, screaming or name calling, 6. Have a Joyful Spirit: No whining, complaining or arguing.

Snack Tickets---I made this one up, because my son is ALWAYS asking for snacks. Make tickets and either color code or sticker code them. Then match that color with the snack. I made 4 tickets which matched 4 different types of snacks. (Cheese/Yogurt, Veggie, Fruit, Treat/Crackers) Each time they ask for a snack, they get a ticket. When the tickets are gone, no more snacks for the day!

Snack Basket---Another original. Now that my kids are older and can keep track of snacks on their own, we have two snack baskets. One in the fridge and one in the cupboard. They still can only have 4 a day. Each must still be different (in other words, you can't have 4 fruit snacks and no carrots).

Daily Proverb, Family Communion and Prayer---self explanatory, but this is what we do for our family devotion time.

Jesus and Journal Time---about 15 minutes (we started with 5) with some music, their Bibles, and their journals. This works even if your kids can't read and write yet. Make sure they have a picture bible and crayons to draw a picture with.

Room Chart---Each day that they get their room clean, according to the guidelines, they get a sticker. 30 stickers and we go to Chuck E Cheese. If your kids share a room, this is a good team builder activity.

Money system---We have a magnet sticker chart for chores and responsibilities. For each sticker they get a dime. At the end of the week, we divide our dimes into 4 jars. Tithe: 10% Offering: whatever they choose. Savings: 10%, more if they choose. Fun: all the rest.

Peace Retreat--just started this one. You can get it here. It really works.

Self Control Chair---I just learned about this one and am excited to use it! Instead of a time out chair or a naughty chair, my friend has the self control chair. Your child must sit there until they can show self control.

Verse Chart---we memorize verses at church and in school. To keep track, we write them on a note card and hang it on our chart (poster board). Then they are all right there for us to review.

Worship Music---just play it. Often. As much as you can. It will calm your kids and bring peace to your home. Plus, is there any sweeter sound than the sound of your kids singing along?

Music and The Word at Bedtime---Our kids have had their own CD player since they were born. Listening to soft worship music or Scripture reading helps them go to sleep. My favorite is PTB Children's Prayers from IHOP. Kids, praying Gods Word. Great CD.

BOOKS:

Babywise---great for new mommies

Complete Guide to Baby and Child Care by Focus on the Family----great book for a-z advice on growth and health and baby/child care.

If Jesus Were a Parent by Hal Perkins----hands down the BEST parenting book EVER. If you only read one parenting book ever, make it this one.

Dare to Discipline and Strong Willed Child by Dr Dobson----He has many others. They are all great!

God's Design for Sex Series by Stan and Brenna Jones---There are 5 books in this series. One for parents and 4 for kids. They will take you from introducing this topic all the way through adolescence. Their books are geared for specific age ranges beginning at 3-5 up through 14.

Raising a Modern Day Knight by Robert Lewis----Jody's favorite Dad book for boys.

Spiritual Growth of Children by Focus on the Family----a guide to what your kids should know about Jesus at what ages. Packed with great ideas and tips for good Jesus family time.

Hide It in Your Heart by Gloria Gaither and Shirley Dobson---wonderful book full of ideas for teaching your kids God's word.

Read n See DVD Bible by Stephen Elkins---this book and dvd set is simple but fun. Read the story, watch the short move, learn the song. My kids love this.

I Can Read God's Word by Phil Smouse---This book looks like a reader! It has simple reading lessons and then incorporates those lessons into Bible verses. Perfect for level 1 & 2 reader. My daughter LOVES that she can read the Bible all by her self.

Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian---great for praying for your kids

A Mom after God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George---another great book for moms.

WEBSITES:

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/

http://www.truelifechurch.tv/ Go to current series. Print 31 days of prayer for children and praying Gods Word over your children. Then go to Listen, launch the player, and select contending for marriage and families.

http://www.dltk-kids.com/

http://www.starfall.com/

http://www.greatschools.net/students/academic-skills/K-5-benchmarks.gs?content=531

http://simplycharlottemason.com/

http://www.aholyexperience.com/

http://ordinaryinspirations.blogspot.com/

I am always looking for new ideas, books, or websites. Please, leave a comment with some of your favorites.

Thankfulness pt 2

2009-10-26T10:52:00.001-07:00

I have been young, and now am old;Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, Nor his descendants begging bread. Psalm 37:25

Today is Multitude Monday. See my mom's blog for details on how to become a formal member or follower of this.

I am so very thankful for all God has given me. By American man's standards some may consider us "underprivileged". We don't have a 401K and our savings account is quite small (but growing!). Our cars are old and one isn't working at the moment. We rent our home, and most of the furnishings in it are either hand-me-downs, second-hand purchases, or from Ikea, Target, or Walmart. We don't have fancy electronics, and our 27" TV is 8 years old---basically from the stone age.

I would like to be able to boast that "at least we are debt free," but even this isn't true. We are still working on paying off a few small debts. From the outside looking in, some may say we have nothing at all. From the inside looking out, we are rich and blessed beyond measure!

Yes, we have had times of struggle and worry, but not once have we gone without. Not even close. Not once have we had no food. Not once have we gone without power, heat, or running water. Not once have we been without a place to live. Even in our "lack" we have surplus to give to others who are truly in need. God is good, and He is faithful. If I have Jesus, I have everything.

I am thankful for....
33. Rain that makes things grow
34. A small but growing savings account
35. A warm home--thank you NWNatural!
36. Kids who help with chores
37. Enough money to pay all the bills and extra for fun and savings.
38. New music from Dad.
39. College professors who continue to pour into our lives.
40. Friends across the world who I may never meet on earth, but who have become dear to my heart.
41. Being able to share a prayer request with hundreds by a click of the mouse.
42. Awesome time of worship, prayer, and healing at church.
43. biblegateway.com
44. pcbible
45. My son's courage to stand up for what he believes.
46. My daughter's heart to pray and believe for other.
47. A mom who still makes me breakfast.
48. A dad who is willing to make a special trip so I can eat said breakfast.
49. A solid, fulfilling and peaceful marriage.
50. The Holidays
51. God's grace revealing areas needing work in my heart.
52. God's voice giving wisdom and direction when making important decisions.
53. Godly council.
54. Two kids who are eager for me to hurry up so we can finish school and play.

No Candle in his Pumpkin

2009-10-24T22:19:00.001-07:00

Today my son took a stand for something he believed in, even though it made him the odd man out, and I could not be more proud!

As every family does, we have certain rules and standards in our home. Our kids know that when you go to an other's house you abide by their rules, and if they do something that is not allowed in our home, you need to ask mom and dad's permission before you participate.

This was the case tonight. We went to our friends home for dinner and afterwards we carved pumpkins. All was good and fine until the candles came out. I hadn't even thought about this occurring, or I would have prepared my kids ahead of time!

See, in our home we carve the pumpkins, but we don't put the candles in for the jack-o-lantern effect. We don't do this because of what the jack-o-lantern represents.

My son relates all things bad or having to do with evil to "devil worship". So, in his little head, a candle in a pumpkin meant you were worshipping the devil.

When those candles came out, my daughter and son looked at me with big eyes. I had to quickly pull them aside and explain that some people put a candle in their pumpkin just for fun and don't mean anything bad by it. They are not 'worshipping the devil.' I said this several times, and made sure they understood. Then I said at our house we don't put the candles in, but if you want to tonight it would be ok. You will not be doing something bad.

My daughter, having been given permission, went ahead and put her candle in. My son said NO WAY! He said, "I do not want be doing something to worship the devil!" I explained it again, wanting to make sure he understood. He said, "I understand, but I don't want to do it!" So, there he stood, with all his friends, no candle in his pumpkin.

I stood back and watched with a very, very, proud heart! It takes alot of courage to stand by your convictions when you are standing alone, but he did it! Way to go, son. May you always be strong and courageous and stick to what you believe even when it means you are the odd one out! I love you!!

Sacrifice.Obedience

2009-10-20T10:13:00.000-07:00

I love reading. Especially novels. I picked up a novel this weekend about five women of the Bible. I really enjoy stories like this because, although it is fiction, I get a better grasp and understanding of these infamous characters and what they went through.

The first story is about a lady we don't hear much about. Her name is Tamar. Her story can be found in Gen 38.

I am not done with the story, but last night I was hung up on a simple truth stated in this book.

Tamar is talking to Judah, her father in law, asking about his God. (Tamar is a Canaanite, and they worship and make sacrifices to idol gods.) She asks him a simple question, "Every god demands a sacrifice. What does your god require?"

Judah's answers, "Obedience."

WOW. Obedience. That is it. You can imagine what a shock this was for a Canaanite girl who has been taught all her life about animal and human sacrifices required to appease the many gods. Could it really be that simple?

This God that is so great, so powerful, so almighty, requires nothing more than for me to obey Him wholly. In asking me for this sacrifice, He is not self serving. He desires me to obey Him for my own good! Out of His perfect love for me, He asks me to trust Him and obey, because He knows what is best for me.

I ask this of my own children. I ask them to do what I say not because it is self serving (well, most of the time anyway!! :-) but because it is what's best for them. I see and know more and can predict the outcome and consequences of their disobedience. I don't want them to go through that. Even if obeying to them seems unfair or difficult, I know that it is better and easier in the long run.

It is not fun for them or me when they decide that they know better. When they decide they are going to do things their way. Someone gets hurt, a mess is made, a discipline must be given. It is never worth it.

The other thing that stirred me was the statement "Every god demands a sacrifice" Tamar was referring to the gods of their time. Idols made of clay, stone, wood.

Are there other gods in my life that I sacrifice to? Of course there are no idols, but are there things that are above God in my life? What am I sacrificing my time, money, efforts, emotions to? Am I giving my sacrifice of obedience wholly to God or am I spreading it among many gods?

Lord, I thank you for Your Love. You ask me to obey you because You love me and desire good things for me. Help me to trust You and obey. Help me to give my sacrifice of obedience wholly to You. Help me to see where and when I am not. Thank You for the sacrifice of Your Son. Thank You for forgiving me when I fail to obey. I love you, Lord.

Four years ago...

2009-10-10T18:47:00.000-07:00

Today we went to the pumpkin patch. We had a great time together, despite my son having a serious case of the crankies.

I realized that the last time we went to the pumpkin patch all together was four years ago.

Four years ago. It was four years ago that our little girl came to live with us. The pumpkin patch was our first family outting.

I remember clearly the feeling of victory when we received that first signature. I knew in my heart it had been settled in the Heavens, but I knew we still had a battle to fight to settle it here on earth.

It was quite a journey. A lesson in trust. Proof of his faithfulness.

The toddler who came to us that fall day is now a toothless, beautiful, smart, first grader who I love with all my heart. She was worth the fight, worth the journey through the unknown.

Important Prayer Request!!

2009-10-09T16:45:00.000-07:00

I met a lady today during Friday school who has a 15 month old foster son. They have had him for 10 months (he's been in the system for 12). They are praying to be able to adopt him. The mother had agreed, but is now back with the father (a registered sex offender), and is not as solid on her decision.

Since he is in the 'system' the choice isn't really up to her, but to the state. Obviously, her willingness would make it easier. Now the state descides if they want to continue their "reunifacation plan" or if they want to move to an adoption plan. If they choose reunifacation, the family will continue to live in limbo, as a reuniting with the parents could happen as soon as immediatly or as late several years down the road.

Having been in a limbo regarding my own baby once, my heart goes out to this mom. I praise her for being willing to love and fight for this little one. This is not an easy thing to do. There is no more vulnerable position to be in. As a mother, in your heart this is your baby, but in reality, this child doesn't belong to you and could be taken from you at any moment and put in a situation that you know will destroy them.

Thank goodness for the grace of God. Thank goodness His is really in control, and not the state or unfit parents. Thank goodness that this little boy has been rescued.

They have a very important hearing on the 22nd. Please, please be praying!! I cannot share this family or the boy's name, but you can pray for the "S" family. Pray for the state to move to an adoption plan. Pray for a change in the heart of the birth parents, especailly the mother. Pray for the protection of this family and this little one. Pray that he can stay in with his family so that he can grow up healthy and to know Jesus.

He is so faithful, why do I question?

2009-10-05T10:57:00.001-07:00

Lately, I have felt His nudgings. Calling me to return to the battle. Calling me to put on my armor and fight again in the Spirit through prayer and intercession. A calling I have neglected for several years. I have never stopped praying, making my requests know to God, but I have let go the discipline of focused intercession. I have let go the discipline of putting aside my own agenda, wants, and needs to connect with the heart of God and pray His agenda.

I hear Him nudging me to move forward, to surrender to the call, but I hesitate. I know what he is asking, and my flesh fights against it. I do not dread the task, but the consequenses of obedience. The enemy doesn't bother stagnat believers. If we are not doing anything to impact the kingdom, he leaves us alone. I like being left alone.

He is calling me. I must trust Him.

Trust is not a trait that I come by naturally. There are few people that I trust. A handful at best. All others it comes as a challenge to let them in. I have not had a scarring, traumatic past that would cause me to distrust. Yet, I have witnessed the fraigility, disloyalty, and betrayl of people on many, many, occasions.

Sometimes, even trusting my Heavenly Father is a challenge. I prefer to do things on my own---that never works out. Why is it easier for me to trust myself, a broken, frail human, than the Creator of the universe?

Thursday, I spent time with Him, aknowledging His call, confessing my fears and hesitations. He assures me through His still small voice and His Word that He is in control. It is safe to trust in Him.

He challenges with the question, Have I ever let you down? I know the answer. No. There have been times I have not understood His answers, or what He allows to happen, but He remains. He is I AM. He is faithful.

But, Lord, it is not the outcome I fear, I know you will come through. It is the trial itself that brings discomfort. It is the desert and darkness I dread. The feelings of vulnerability, the insecurities of the unknown. These, I could do without.

How would you grow? How would you see that I AM?

A little more time in the Word, a trip to the memory box, and I come back humbled. Lord, you are so faithful. Every trial You were there. Every hardship You were there. Every need you met. Every unknown you brought Your peace. Each occurence requiring only that I put my faith and trust in You. Each time I do, You prove Yourself to me.

I am reminded of the many times I chose to put trust in myself and my own abilities rather than the I AM. What great disaters I have made! Yet, He remains. I turn to Abba, putting my trust back where it belongs. He meets me there, in the mess, pulls me out, cleans me up. His grace deals with my sin. His mercy will deal with the consequences. His mercies are new every morning.

I answer the call. Lord, I put my trust in you. I will be active in your army again. I will not fear. You are the great I AM.

Thankfulness

2009-09-28T08:56:00.000-07:00

My mom has joined the gratitude community, something another blogger started. You can go to her blog, then go to the other blog to find out more about it. http://elizabethfstewart.blogspot.com/

It is a list of 1000 things to be grateful for. What a nice idea. We have so much to be thankful for. Thankfulness gives you right perspective and brings you peace. It reminds us of His goodness and faithfulness.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7

I have not joined the community officially, but I want to start on a list. Perhaps I will have my kids work on a list, too. I want them to understand how much they have to be thankful for.

1. The Cross. Forgiveness.
2. His mercies that are new every morning and last forever.
3. A husband who loves me and beleives in me and is my best friend.
4. God's grace, faithfulness and protection that watched over our kids as they became forever ours.
5. Melaney. Despite her brokeness she manage to make two right decisions that will change history.
6. Grace that preserved my husband. When circumstances say he should have grown up to be a broken mess, God said, "No, I have other plans."
7. A loving Dad for my babies.
8. A good job for my husband that provides for all our needs.
9. The provision to be able to stay home with my kids and teach them.
10. The grace to teach them, even when I want to pull my hair out and send them to their rooms until the Lord returns.
11. God's Word. I love His Word.
12. The ABUNDANCE of food we are blessed with.
13. Clean, running water.
14. A Godly heritage.
15. My mom and dad. Seriously, they are the best.
16. My sisters who are my best friends.
17. Erin, my faithful forever friend (what a rareity that is!)
18. Matt. A faithful, loyal friend to my husband.
19. A husband who will eat anything, including my cooking.
20. My son's sensative heart.
21. My daughter's joyful and creative spirit.
22. Coffee and Chocolate. God's smartest idea yet!
23. The internet, computers, technology. Thank you, Lord, for giving man wisdom to invent these wonderful things!
24. Books filled with the wisdom of believers, past and present.
25. Elliana, God's promise fulfilled.
26. Friday school
27. Answered prayers
28. The opportunity to be apart of a historical revival.
29. The opportunity to minister to the poor and broken.
30. My church family.
31. Quiet moments with Jesus.
32. Good health for me and my family.

This is it for now. My kids are getting roudy. We are going to go to the library. And I am thankful for that, too.

World Changers in the Making

2009-09-24T09:57:00.000-07:00

My hearts desire it that my children love and serve the Lord all the days of thier lives. My constant prayer is that they not go a single day out of relationship with Him. Nothing is more important. I want them to know Him personally, now and forever.

Growing up, I never saw Jesus or church as something my parents made me do. I have loved Jesus personally for as long as I can remember! I thank my mom and dad for that, and that is what I want for my kids.

I fall short in so many ways. I forget to pray. I skip Bible time. We miss family devotions. I lose my temper. I play on the computer instead of playing with them. I often feel like I am stumbling through this journey called motherhood, and if they turn out even halfway decent it will be a miracle! :-)

But then there are those moment when I see Jesus in my kids, and I know that dispite my nearly daily shortfalls, God's grace is suffecient, convering my mistakes. His love is penetrating their hearts.

A few days ago, my son said, "Mommy, wanna hear me sing a song?" I said sure, thinking he would make up something silly as he often does. Instead, he opened his mouth and out came a beautiful, spontanious love song to Jesus.

During church on Sundays I watch as my daughter worships with her whole heart in her own "big and fancy" way.

These moment remind me to keep on. Keep being real in front of them. Keep 'stumbling' through in front of them. Live determined in front of them. I know they are watching. I want them to see that I may make a dozen mistakes each day, but I turn to the One who forgives and ask Him for grace and mercy. I never stop turning to Jesus. I never stop wanting to know Him and wanting to be better in Him.

I am a great planner and organizer, but I am the worst at executing my own plans and organization. I am very easily distracted. I have a daily schedule, but I don't think I have followed it once. I have a daily, weekly, and monthly chore list, but have you seen my house lately? I have a detailed school outline and schedule, but this morning we just got through Enghlish.

However, this school year, I have been determined that if we accomplish nothing else, we will learn to daily spend time in His presence. All of my elaborate school plans have already gone to the wasteside, and we are once again 'playing it by ear'. But so far, we have done pretty good with this little discipline.

The first day of school, we made journals. They are nothing fancy. Just some construction paper with elementary writing paper on the inside, stapled together and decorated by the kids with stickers and markers.

We talked about what a journal is for, and I showed them mine. Then we turned on some music, got out our Bibles, and spent some time with Jesus. This has become their favorite time of the day.

My son can't read yet, but he looks through his comic Bible very seriously and copies some of the words into his journal. Some pages have pictures of people or a cross. My daughter can read a little, but if you saw her you would think she was intensly absorbing every word from her little pink Bible. Perhaps she is. She writes things in her journal like, "Love Jesus. Don't Lie. Obey your Mom and Dad. I love you. Love, Jesus. Jesus and Me. I love you Jesus."

Proverbs 22:6 in the Amplified says "Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it."

This is my favorite version of this scripture because it says "in keeping with his individual gift or bent." I was raised that way, and I want to raise my kids that way. I want them to serve and know and love Jesus through their own individual personality and gifts. I don't really know how exatly to do this, but I know the One who does. I know how to intruduce them to the One. I also know that as I trust in and rely on the One who Created my babies and gave them their individual gifts and bend that He will give me the wisdom and know how to train them right.

Oh, what a good God we serve. Now, I am off to go play games with my kids and make some lunch.

What's with the Name?

2009-09-22T15:51:00.000-07:00

Why did I pick the Journey of a Wannabe World Changer?

My sister sent me a link to a blog. The lady's blog had these beautiful pictures, poetic words, and seriously creative ideas. Oh, the envy!

I am so very not creative. I like to write, but it never sound eloquent, and my English and grammar are horrible! My house does not look like a magazine cover. Nothing matches, and would rather go read a book or play Sims than to decorate it---I am excited just to keep it clean for more than a day. I home school my kids, but struggle to just get through the material. Our arts and crafts consist of markers, stickers, glue and free reign to do whatever because mommy doesn't have a clue. For their spiritual education we read the Bible and pray. Nothing creative there either.

But, oh, how I would love to be a creative person like the one in the blog. I wish I had inspiring and creative ideas for teaching my kids to connect with Jesus. I wish we could do crafts together and they turn out good enough to sell. I would love if people walked into my house and went WOW.

But, I am not. So, it got me to thinking, who am I then? What is my claim to fame? I am a world changer....or at least I want to be. I wanna travel the world and tell people about Jesus. I wanna go into tribes that have never heard about Jesus and tell them. I wanna translate the Bible into languages that have yet to be discovered. I wanna be a 'Reinhard Bonnke' or 'Jim Elliot' or 'John G Lake'. As the old song goes, "I wanna be a history maker"!! That is what I desire, and I believe that is who God created me to be.

This doesn't mean I will someday be known for preaching to tens of thousands, or for dying in a village as one of the first missionaries to go there, or for healing thousands. It would be really awesome if I were, but I don't have to to be a world changer.

To be a world changer, I need to be obedient. I must seek Him and know Him, and then go and do when he says. Being a world changer isn't about changing the world that we see, but about changing the unseen, the everlasting.

I know that God has blessed me with the opportunity to change the world for two amazing little kids, and if that is all I accomplish in this life, I would be satisfied. I fail at this task miserably some times, but I get up, ask for forgiveness and grace, and try again. I know that were it not for the Grace of God and our obedience that their lives would be a story of darkness, devastation and brokenness rather than a story of life, hope, and promise.

It is my hope that as I strive to be a world changer for Jesus that I will teach them how to be one, too.

My Blog

2009-09-22T15:41:00.000-07:00

So, I have decided to start a personal blog. I have a blog for AFN, which has got a whole whopping 140 hits in over a year. WOW. I am amazing! :-)

So, knowing that I am so unpopular, why start another? Well, AFN is really just to communicate stuff with our supporters, especially when we're in Africa. I try to keep it to missions related stuff, so it is not exactly exciting now that we are back in the US.

I decided to do a personal blog because I LOVE to write! I find the process of writing very theraputic. Whenever I was in trouble as a kid, or had to tell my parents something too hard to say to their face, I would right these seriously long letters. I am a journaler. Not a daily one, but if there is something on my mind, I write about it to God.

So, why not keep my writings to my journal? I dunno. Guess I like an audience. :-) No, truth is, maybe as I help my self and write out my thoughts, perhaps someone else will come along and read it, and they, too, will be helped in someway.

Condending for this generation

2009-09-22T09:02:00.000-07:00

Our church, which has a new name, Truelife Church, is 9 days in to a 21 day fast. Each Sunday for the next 8 weeks we are condending and praying for diffrent areas. This last week we Contended for this Generation.

Pastor Brian preached. It was an awesome service and message. It was heart breaking and eye opening to see the pain and brokeness that this whole generation is expereincing.

I know my heart was changed about how I see this generation and how I really need to pray!!

Take a listen or download the prayer sheets. Click here.

True Joy

2009-09-11T10:21:00.000-07:00

My Pastor/Brother in Law posted a video about Africa on his FB this week. It was about true Joy not being defined by circumstances. The theme: "I need Africa more than Africa needs me."

I have experienced what this video talks about first hand. In parts of Africa where dispair should be prevelent, you will find joy. They are not sad be cause of what they do not have or because of thier circusmances, instead, they are happy, and understand that things and circumstances are not the source of true joy.

The point is that we can learn from this--we need to learn from this. We base our joy and happiness too much on stuff and circumstance rather than the true source of Joy.

The only true source of pure joy is the Lord. The Joy of the Lord is our strength. That Joy comes from knowing that I have Jesus, no matter what comes my way, I know that He is my strength, my peace, my portion, my deliverer. Knowing that, I move forward. I press on towards the goal.

Click here to see the video.

Please pray for this very special family.

2009-09-04T21:12:00.000-07:00

http://rebekahspage.blogspot.com/2009/08/rebekahs-scans-are-stable-mommy-not-so.html

This link is to a blog that I read regularly. It is a family that I know, in fact, the Dad is our adoption attorney that handled both our adoptions.

Several years ago, his daughter (who is Maudilee's age) was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsey, six months later, she was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. She has gone through treatment, and is currently cancer free.

Two years ago, their house burned down, on Rebekah's birthday (that's the daughter).

A few weeks ago the Mom was diagnosed with ALS/Lou Gehrig's Disease. The prognosis is not good.

My heart breaks for this family. They have been through a lot. They are believers, and are praying for a miracle. I am praying with with them, and ask you to pray, too.

The Amazing Timing of God...

2009-06-30T20:13:00.000-07:00

Today, Jody became a licensed contractor. This has been a dream of his for a long time. He enjoys working with his hands and is really good at it.

Since we have been back from Africa, Jody has singlehandedly supported us doing handyman work (something he had done on the side for quite awhile). All the while looking for a job at the same time, because he is very limited in what he can do as a handy man without a license.

He had several interview, and even had a very promising job that fell through. So he began to study for his contractors test and we began to save so he could get his license.

Then, out of the blue, he gets a job. God held off, and saved this job just for him. His boss has encouraged him to get his license, and promised to make him a sub contractor once he did.

So, today Jody is a business owner, licensed contractor, and has a client with enough work to support our family.

I sit back in awe looking at how God perfectly orchestrated the timing of events to bring this all to pass, and at how He made provision for us every step of the way. He is a good God, a good Father, who gives good gifts to His children.

My Girl pt 2

2009-06-29T20:30:00.000-07:00

My mom has a blog, and wrote about Daughter, who announced to Nana that she wanted to be a missionary when she grows up so she could help poor people. You will get a kick out of where she wants to be a missionary!!

Click here to read.

My Girl

2009-06-15T22:44:00.000-07:00

My daughter turned 6 this past week. I can't believe it. She is getting so big, and growing into a beautiful, sweet, smart, young lady. She and I are more alike than we are diffrent, so raising her has been a challenge. But a challenge I would do 1000 times over. I love her more than words can say and am so very proud of her.

I know that she is going to do great things for the Kingdom. When we were in Africa, she told me God wants her to be "like the girls on tv that Nana likes" (aka Joyce Meyer and the like), and teach people about Jesus and the Bible.

I am so blessed and honored that God has entrusted her and her brother to us, and pray each day for the grace and wisdom to raise them in the fear and knowledge of Him.

Happy Birthday, baby girl!

Ugh...another birthday...

2009-05-20T08:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my birthday. Another year's past, another year older. Since 26, each birthday I have had has been a huge reminder that I am getting older, and my life is going no where (well, not really, but it hasn't gone in the direction or timing I planned). However, this year has been pretty awesome. It hasn't been easy at times but it has been a great year of growth and experience, and I am pumped about the year ahead.

Sure, according to my childhood plans, I am seriously behind schedule on my "life". According to my own plans, I am two kids behind, a degree behind, several years behind of ministry in Africa, several major healings and miracles behind, and several walking on water experiences behind. But, my plans don't matter. God's plans do. Nearly daily I surrender my will and life to him, so why is it I get so bummed out when he doesn't work according to my schedule? And whose fault is it that I am not where I want to be? Is it me following God's will and where I am is fully where he wants me to be, or is it my own laziness and fear that is stopping me, but I just blame the will of God?

I was talking to God about this the other day, or rather whining and complaining to God, and he seriously put me in my place. I was expressing my concern, or fear rather, on how long it would take us to get back to Africa. I was reminding him that I was about to be 29, and nowhere near where I imagined I would be, in my walk with him, in my life, and in ministry. He said to me, "Whose stopping you? Stop complaining and do something about it. You hold you back more than I. Get up and do something about it! Move forward instead of standing still, remember, I respond to movement. I would rather you move and stumble than stand still and go nowhere."

Wow. What a reminder that there is God's perfect will, and God's permissible will. I desire his perfect will for my life, but I think I settle for his permissible will too often. How often do I ask for his perfect will to be done in my life, but then do nothing to pursue it? God is perfect and unchanging, which means if we are not in sync, I am the one that needs to adjust. If I am not as close to God as I want to be. If I do know His heart as I desire to know it. If I am not as in tune with the Holy Spirit and I would like, is it because He is holding back? NO! I am the one that must draw near to him and He will draw near to me. I am the one who must seek Him and then all these things will be added.

Each year on my birthday, I look back at what the year has been, and think about the year to come. This year, I want to be on the move with Him. I want to be in pursuit of His heart and His perfect will for my life. I don't want another idle year to pass. I want to look back next year on my birthday....for which I will be 29 again....and say, "God, I know you more, I love you more, I am obeying you more."

Speaking of time, my how does it fly!

2009-05-13T13:03:00.000-07:00

My precious baby boy turned 5 yesterday. I can hardly believe it. If I could, I would have video taped every single moment of the past five years, so as to not forget a second. It goes by too fast! Before I know it, he's gonna be all grown up and too cool for mater, cuddles, and sneaking into our bed at night.

Son is my sweet, sensitive, tender hearted little boy, who can't sit still for more than 5 minutes. He loves all things boy, sports, cars, superheroes, and tormenting his big sister. His big sister who is also his best friend!

I love you, Mr. Funny!

Priorities, Schedules, Time

2009-05-09T10:13:00.000-07:00

I over heard a conversation the other day in which the comment was made, "it seems he feel like he has to get everything together, that his life has to be fully in order before he can move forward."

Oh, how that comment is totally and completely me!! I try so hard to get all the ducks in a row, so that I can "move forward" with life. I do this knowing it is never fully going to happen, yet I try anyway. I am constantly in "catch up" mode. I need to catch up on my house work before I can, start a new bible study, exercise, or just simply follow my normal daily routine. I need to catch up on the check book before we can follow our budget really well. I need to catch up on my paperwork before I can start working on ministry stuff for AFN again. The list goes on and on...

My goal--to be caught up on everything, so that then my life will run smoothly and on schedule, day after day. This seems to be the unreachable goal for me, I believe because it is a bit unrealistic.

Sure, there are things I could do to improve. I could practice more self discipline. I could say no to distractions. Distractions like tv and computer or a project that really doesn't need to be done now. These are distractions that I know are of no eternal purpose and are a waste of my time, and yet I do them anyway.

However, Life does not happen on a schedule, no matter how hard we may try. Life throws us curve balls that take us out of our daily routine. And no matter how much house work or check books we balance, there will always be more that needs to be done.

I believe it is better to change our mindset. Rather than try to follow a schedule or routine, to live life according to our priorities. We must change our perspective so that we do not see the long list of things that need to get done, but rather the important priorities that should receive our time and attention.

Before Son was born, I was blessed to work with an amazing company. I worked for a company who coached business people how to succeed in life and business. It sounds cheesy and gimmicky when you say it, but it was anything but. This company was a group of believers whose hearts desire was to see overworked successful business people begin to live their life to the fullest, beginning with a relationship with Jesus. They wanted to teach them how to live their priorities rather than work themselves to death only to look back at the end of their lives and realize it was all for nothing. The coaches and owners of this company lived what they taught. They were people that you looked at and said, I want to be like them! They were also very successful at what they did, and saw marriages and families saved, saw people recover from depression and addictions, and most of all saw many people come to know Jesus personally.

When you signed up for the program, the first thing you did was create a life plan. A picture of what you wanted your life to look like now and in 20 years. Then you create accounts, or priorities, and set your time and resources accordingly.

It has been a long time since I have looked at my life plan, but I know I could certainly improve in giving my priorities more attention. I could do better in living life according to what is important rather than by the never ending to do list. To do this requires two things: a change in mindset, moving from the list to the priority, and a sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. He is faithful to lead us in each decision if we listen to Him. If I begin my day with Jesus and surrender to His will and schedule for the day rather than mine, I know he will lead me, and I will experience more peace and fulfillment in each day.

Two days ago, a friend of ours dad died unexpectedly. Unexpected deaths are much harder to deal with than the ones you know are coming. Although I did not know this man, the news startled me. In an instant our life on earth can be over. You do not always get notice, time to prepare. How precious is our time here. We only have this short time to store are prepare for eternity.

I came across a page of quotes my one of my favorite revivalist, Leonard Ravenhill. Each one stings and challenges, but this one seemed to sting the most today, as I think about schedules, priorities and the wasting of idle time. It is a quote I will be writing out and posting on my TV and computer to remind me of how precious time is and how I should be spending it. It is my challenge for this week to turn off the TV and get into the Word more and spend more time being with my kids.

"How can you pull down strongholds of Satan if you don’t even have the strength to turn off your TV?"

Obediently seeking...

2009-04-30T23:58:00.000-07:00

Today, my daughter disobeyed. Deliberatly chose to disobey. It wasn't one of those childish, ops, I forgot. Or, I'll do what you say but only halfway sort of deals. It was a blatant thought out choice to disobey. This is not the first time she has done this, and I doubt it will be the last...after all, she is only five...but it caught me off guard (she's been a really good girl lately), and got me to thinking.

Daughter wanted a brownie. She asked me for the brownie, but I said no. I didn't give her a reason, I just said no. I had a reason, I just didn't tell her. (I was too preoccupied at the time, to be honest.) My reason was good, and for her best intrest. I was about to make dinner, and didn't want her to spoil her appetite. I would give her the brownie after dinner.

About 15 minutes later, I go down to the kitchen and the brownie is gone. Not only is the brownie gone, be the evidence, the empty pan, had been strategically placed in the sink with the other dirty dishes. BUSTED.

I asked why she ate it and she told me because she wanted the brownie and there was only one left. So, basically, she was afraid that if she waited and obey the thing she really wanted would no longer be there.

Oh, how often am I like her with God? He tells me no. He says no, knowing full well why he is telling me no. Often it's simply because it's not time, other things must be done first. But, in my immaturity, in my selfishness, in my desire to satisfy my want now, I eat the brownie anyway, worried that if I wait and trust God, the brownie will be gone and I will miss out.

Daughter didn't ask me why she couldn't have the brownie. All she heard from me was no, and left it at that. She didn't take the time to seek out the reason for the no from mommy. Instead, she immediatly focused on figuring out a way to get what she wanted despite what I said.

I do that. I ask God, and He says no. And instead of seeking Him for the why, I just go on trying to figure out how to do it on my own anyway.

I find myself doing that even now. I want to go back to africa yesterday! I don't want 2 months every eight years! Every day that goes by with no activity focused on getting us back there; every day that goes by with us just striving to make it here, let alone save to return, I begin to panic. I get anxious and want to start figuring out a way to make it happen on my own. Instead, I should be seeking Him! Asking him the why! Why am I here, and what do You want to happen before I can "eat the brownie".

I believe we do not seek him about the reason for His answer enough, and we really should. You may discover that the no is really just a 'not right now' or you may discover that it really is NO. You may also discover, as I have several times, that there are just some things beyond our human understanding and we just have to trust that God is God. But, I believe that more often than not, we will discover a father's heart for His child. You will discover that He desires only good things for His children, and all that he allows or doesn't allow has eternal purpose.

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Mt 6:33

P.S. Key to seeking: LISTENING :-)

Anniversary

2008-12-16T20:42:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is our Anniversary. We have been married eight years. I can hardly believe it! It has been eight wonderful years full of adventures--both good and bad, but all of which have only brought us closer. I love him more now than ever, and am so thankful for the wonderful marriage God has blessed us with.

Happy Anniversary, sweetie, I love you!!!

One Proud Mommy!

2008-12-13T11:43:00.000-08:00

I love my kids. They are good kids. Sure, they drive me insane some times, and some times they can be really naughty, but I think that goes for all kids. And like all kids, they have a tendency to be selfish. They even throw tantrums once in awhile when they don't get what they want.

For the past few weeks they have been after me to go through their clothes and toys, so that they could give some to the African kids that do not have any. The clothes part is easy--if it's too small it goes. The toys, well that's a whole other subject. But, today, Malachi and I went through all of his toys, and he gave away quite a bit! He looked at every car, one by one, and gave away over half of his collection. He kept three of his rescue heroes and gave away the rest. He gave away one of his little buzz toys, saying he had another one like it that was blue.

The biggest suprise to mommy---he gave away a stuffed mater. (Malachi LOVES his stuffed animals, and he especially loves mater. He has one that he sleeps with everynight--along with about 10 other things!). That one was a little tough. He thought about it for awhile, and said "good bye". I told him (like a hundred times during this process) ,"you don't have to give away anything. It's up to you, but you don't have to if you don't want to." He said, "No, I want to." I asked him "why?" He said "because, some kids don't have any stuffed animals at all, and I have my other mater."

Thankful

2008-11-26T19:33:00.000-08:00

Psalm 147
6The Lord lifts up the humble and downtrodden; He casts the wicked down to the ground.
7Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving; sing praises with the harp or the lyre to our God!--
8Who covers the heavens with clouds, Who prepares rain for the earth, Who makes grass to grow on the mountains.

Psalm 100
A Psalm of thanksgiving and for the thank offering.
1MAKE A joyful noise to the Lord, all you lands!
2Serve the Lord with gladness! Come before His presence with singing!
3Know (perceive, recognize, and understand with approval) that the Lord is God! It is He Who has made us, not we ourselves [and we are His]! We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
4Enter into His gates with thanksgiving and a thank offering and into His courts with praise! Be thankful and say so to Him, bless and affectionately praise His name!
5For the Lord is good; His mercy and loving-kindness are everlasting, His faithfulness and truth endure to all generations.

Psalm 95
1O COME, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the Rock of our salvation!
2Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to Him with songs of praise!
3For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods.

Philippians 4
6Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God.

Tomorrow is thanksgiving, and I have so much to be thankful for this year.

We serve a good, awesome, and amazing GOD. His faithfulness, mercies, grace, and love are never ending. I love the Lord so much, and am thankful that He never gives up on me!

I am thankful for Jody. He is my best friend and the love of my life. He is a wonderful husband, and a great father. I am thankful for the 8 wonderful years we have had together, and for all the years to come.

I am thankful for my children, my special gifts from God. They continue to amaze me each and every day, and I count it a blessing and honor to be given the privledge to be their mommy.

I am thankful for my family. You never outgrow the need for your family. I am 28, and still feel like a lost kid sometimes, but I have great parents that continue to teach me and guide me. And my sisters, well, they are my best friends, and I love them.

I am thankful for the up-coming opportunity to serve the people of Africa, and I am thankful for all of you who have supported us and helped make this opportunity possible.

I am thankful for our good friends. Friends that have sharpened us, and stuck close to us through some really hard times.

I am thankful for our church family who love us and support us and believe in us.

I am thankful for the little things that we so often take for granted: a home, clothes, food, toys, freedom..... God is GOOD.

In everything give thanks! THANK YOU LORD FOR ALL YOUR WONDERFUL BLESSINGS! THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE AND MERCY AND GRACE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS AND FOR THE CROSS. THANK YOU LORD FOR LOVING ME!!!!

Good Bye Grandpa

2008-10-25T18:57:00.000-07:00

Precious in the sight of the LORD Is the death of His saints. Ps 116:15

1 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Heb 12:1-3

My Grandpa went to heaven today. He has been in poor health for many years, and the past few months, we knew the time was near. My sisters and I went up yesterday to say good bye. We were the last of the relatives planning to visit. When we got there he looked good and was sleeping peacefully. He could hear us, but couldn't really respond, and only opened his eyes for a moment. After we visited for awhile in his room, I kissed him good bye, and told him I loved him. Then we left.

After we left he took a turn for the worse and at 12:45 am, he went to heaven. Although I was not there when he passed, my dad says it was a peaceful event, as it should be for believers. The word of God says blessed in the sight of the Lord is the death of the saints. He has been in hospice since Thursday, and Dad has been with him most of the time, listening to worship music, reading the Word, praying, and talking about Jesus. I am sure Grandpa is having a great time right now marveling at the Beauty of Jesus.

My Grandma has Alzheimers, and goes in and out of reality, but in God’s grace she had a time of clarity last night and was able to say good bye. While saying good bye she sang him a song that I am pretty sure I will always remember "Jesus loves me this I know. More and more like Him you've grown. Now he comes to take you home."

This weekend we will celebrate His life. Like all of us, my Grandpa was not perfect, but one thing is for certain, He loved Jesus. He taught his kids to love Him. His kids taught his grandkids, and how I am teaching His great grandkids. That is worth celebrating.

I will miss my Grandpa, but I know I will see Him again, and I know that he is a part of the great cloud of witnesses that is cheering me on.

grandpa memories....
Some of my favorite memories of Grandpa is his singing. He loved Southern Gospel music. I liked it when he sang. And his humming. He used to hum alot. He loved black licorice and lemon drops, and I used to buy them for him for Christmas as a kid--thinking I was getting him something really great. Whenever I would visit as a kid, and would sit on his lap he used to ask "what are you good for?" and of course the standard answer was "nothing" so then he would say, "so your good for nothin'" then he would laugh (i remember his laugh well) and give me a hug.

I remember Grandpa as a student of the Word. He loved the Word of God, and he loved to read. My favorite grandpa place was his office. He had SO MANY books. I loved his library, and used to tease him that when he passed I was going to take all of his books, but he always said you'll have to fight the boys for them (my cousins). To which I said, "no problem, I can take 'em!" But all through Bible College he would give me some of his books for Christmas each year.

In the Darkness comes revelation....

2008-10-18T23:19:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was our annual church ladies retreat. We had a great time. God is good, and touched many lives, including mine. We focused on the book of Daniel and the Song of Songs. May thing that is an odd combination, but the theme for the weekend was "Come Away With Me" and we talked alot about how God speaks to us in the darkness (as he did with Daniel). How our breakthroughs, our suddenlies, our revelations, most often come during the dark times of our lives. Those are the times we most need to go away with Him. The dark times of our lives our the times we grow the most. I really dont like dark times---does anyone? And it seems my family and I have gone through quite a few the past few years. But I am thankful for them (once they are over) because they prove God's faithfulness, and draw us closer to Him. Through each one I have grown; growth that is not possible in good times only. Thank You, Jesus, for your faithfulness. Thank you for being with me in the dark times, and for bringing your Light. I love you, Lord.

CityFest

2008-08-23T21:31:00.000-07:00

Well, we braved the heat and the crowds, and took the kids downtown to meet Bob and Larry. The real bob and larry.

We had a fun day, even if our timing was off and we missed all of the bmx show, and only got to see bob and larry for about 5 minutes. There was still so many other things to do that the kids didn't even notice.

However, my very observant son did notice one thing...that it was not the real bob and larry that we saw. He said that it was just someone in a costume because he could see the legs. So I said, "I thought bob and larry were just pretend." He said, "No, they are real, but that wasn't them, because they dont have legs." .....and we thought believing in Santa was the least of our worries.....

(For those of you who are. thinking what are you talking about....Bob and Larry are from the cartoon Veggie Tales. They are a cucumber and a tomato, and yes, in the cartoon the do not have legs or arms. City Fest was this big festival/concert downtown put on by Luis Palau.)

God's Will, Agreement and Alignment

2008-08-17T12:41:00.000-07:00

Today's message---the whole series of the past few weeks has been awesome. Pastor (aka Dad) has been preaching on the Will of God, Agreement and Alignment. It has really challenged me ask the Holy Spirit to examine me, and show me the areas of my life that are out of line, and those areas that I need to come into agreement with God about.

Durning Cleansing Streams (a class on deliverance) in college we learned about proper alignment, authority, and submission. There was a simple prayer that was taught that I used to say daily. I have gotten out of the habit, but was remined today how powerful and important those words and the action behind them are.

Lord, I choose to walk in agreement and alingment with You and Your Will today. I choose to be yoked with you. Show me those things that would keep me from being in agreement and alignment with you. I recognize that I am dependant on your grace and strength in order to do this. In the Name of Jesus, I command my body to submit to my soul, my soul to submit to my spirit, and my spirit submit to the Spirit of God. AMEN!

If you want to hear these messages click here. If the series is not here yet, it will be soon.