Posts
I love reading. Especially novels. I picked up a novel this weekend about five women of the Bible. I really enjoy stories like this because, although it is fiction, I get a better grasp and understanding of these infamous characters and what they went through.
The first story is about a lady we don't hear much about. Her name is Tamar. Her story can be found in Gen 38.
I am not done with the story, but last night I was hung up on a simple truth stated in this book.
Tamar is talking to Judah, her father in law, asking about his God. (Tamar is a Canaanite, and they worship and make sacrifices to idol gods.) She asks him a simple question, "Every god demands a sacrifice. What does your god require?"
Judah's answers, "Obedience."
WOW. Obedience. That is it. You can imagine what a shock this was for a Canaanite girl who has been taught all her life about animal and human sacrifices required to appease the many gods. Could it really be that simple?
This God that is so great, so powerful, so almighty, requires nothing more than for me to obey Him wholly. In asking me for this sacrifice, He is not self serving. He desires me to obey Him for my own good! Out of His perfect love for me, He asks me to trust Him and obey, because He knows what is best for me.
I ask this of my own children. I ask them to do what I say not because it is self serving (well, most of the time anyway!! :-) but because it is what's best for them. I see and know more and can predict the outcome and consequences of their disobedience. I don't want them to go through that. Even if obeying to them seems unfair or difficult, I know that it is better and easier in the long run.
It is not fun for them or me when they decide that they know better. When they decide they are going to do things their way. Someone gets hurt, a mess is made, a discipline must be given. It is never worth it.
The other thing that stirred me was the statement "Every god demands a sacrifice" Tamar was referring to the gods of their time. Idols made of clay, stone, wood.
Are there other gods in my life that I sacrifice to? Of course there are no idols, but are there things that are above God in my life? What am I sacrificing my time, money, efforts, emotions to? Am I giving my sacrifice of obedience wholly to God or am I spreading it among many gods?
Lord, I thank you for Your Love. You ask me to obey you because You love me and desire good things for me. Help me to trust You and obey. Help me to give my sacrifice of obedience wholly to You. Help me to see where and when I am not. Thank You for the sacrifice of Your Son. Thank You for forgiving me when I fail to obey. I love you, Lord.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Four years ago...
Today we went to the pumpkin patch. We had a great time together, despite my son having a serious case of the crankies.
I realized that the last time we went to the pumpkin patch all together was four years ago.
Four years ago. It was four years ago that our little girl came to live with us. The pumpkin patch was our first family outting.
I remember clearly the feeling of victory when we received that first signature. I knew in my heart it had been settled in the Heavens, but I knew we still had a battle to fight to settle it here on earth.
It was quite a journey. A lesson in trust. Proof of his faithfulness.
The toddler who came to us that fall day is now a toothless, beautiful, smart, first grader who I love with all my heart. She was worth the fight, worth the journey through the unknown.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Important Prayer Request!!
I met a lady today during Friday school who has a 15 month old foster son. They have had him for 10 months (he's been in the system for 12). They are praying to be able to adopt him. The mother had agreed, but is now back with the father (a registered sex offender), and is not as solid on her decision.
Since he is in the 'system' the choice isn't really up to her, but to the state. Obviously, her willingness would make it easier. Now the state descides if they want to continue their "reunifacation plan" or if they want to move to an adoption plan. If they choose reunifacation, the family will continue to live in limbo, as a reuniting with the parents could happen as soon as immediatly or as late several years down the road.
Having been in a limbo regarding my own baby once, my heart goes out to this mom. I praise her for being willing to love and fight for this little one. This is not an easy thing to do. There is no more vulnerable position to be in. As a mother, in your heart this is your baby, but in reality, this child doesn't belong to you and could be taken from you at any moment and put in a situation that you know will destroy them.
Thank goodness for the grace of God. Thank goodness His is really in control, and not the state or unfit parents. Thank goodness that this little boy has been rescued.
They have a very important hearing on the 22nd. Please, please be praying!! I cannot share this family or the boy's name, but you can pray for the "S" family. Pray for the state to move to an adoption plan. Pray for a change in the heart of the birth parents, especailly the mother. Pray for the protection of this family and this little one. Pray that he can stay in with his family so that he can grow up healthy and to know Jesus.
Since he is in the 'system' the choice isn't really up to her, but to the state. Obviously, her willingness would make it easier. Now the state descides if they want to continue their "reunifacation plan" or if they want to move to an adoption plan. If they choose reunifacation, the family will continue to live in limbo, as a reuniting with the parents could happen as soon as immediatly or as late several years down the road.
Having been in a limbo regarding my own baby once, my heart goes out to this mom. I praise her for being willing to love and fight for this little one. This is not an easy thing to do. There is no more vulnerable position to be in. As a mother, in your heart this is your baby, but in reality, this child doesn't belong to you and could be taken from you at any moment and put in a situation that you know will destroy them.
Thank goodness for the grace of God. Thank goodness His is really in control, and not the state or unfit parents. Thank goodness that this little boy has been rescued.
They have a very important hearing on the 22nd. Please, please be praying!! I cannot share this family or the boy's name, but you can pray for the "S" family. Pray for the state to move to an adoption plan. Pray for a change in the heart of the birth parents, especailly the mother. Pray for the protection of this family and this little one. Pray that he can stay in with his family so that he can grow up healthy and to know Jesus.
Monday, October 5, 2009
He is so faithful, why do I question?
Lately, I have felt His nudgings. Calling me to return to the battle. Calling me to put on my armor and fight again in the Spirit through prayer and intercession. A calling I have neglected for several years. I have never stopped praying, making my requests know to God, but I have let go the discipline of focused intercession. I have let go the discipline of putting aside my own agenda, wants, and needs to connect with the heart of God and pray His agenda.
I hear Him nudging me to move forward, to surrender to the call, but I hesitate. I know what he is asking, and my flesh fights against it. I do not dread the task, but the consequenses of obedience. The enemy doesn't bother stagnat believers. If we are not doing anything to impact the kingdom, he leaves us alone. I like being left alone.
He is calling me. I must trust Him.
Trust is not a trait that I come by naturally. There are few people that I trust. A handful at best. All others it comes as a challenge to let them in. I have not had a scarring, traumatic past that would cause me to distrust. Yet, I have witnessed the fraigility, disloyalty, and betrayl of people on many, many, occasions.
Sometimes, even trusting my Heavenly Father is a challenge. I prefer to do things on my own---that never works out. Why is it easier for me to trust myself, a broken, frail human, than the Creator of the universe?
Thursday, I spent time with Him, aknowledging His call, confessing my fears and hesitations. He assures me through His still small voice and His Word that He is in control. It is safe to trust in Him.
He challenges with the question, Have I ever let you down? I know the answer. No. There have been times I have not understood His answers, or what He allows to happen, but He remains. He is I AM. He is faithful.
But, Lord, it is not the outcome I fear, I know you will come through. It is the trial itself that brings discomfort. It is the desert and darkness I dread. The feelings of vulnerability, the insecurities of the unknown. These, I could do without.
How would you grow? How would you see that I AM?
A little more time in the Word, a trip to the memory box, and I come back humbled. Lord, you are so faithful. Every trial You were there. Every hardship You were there. Every need you met. Every unknown you brought Your peace. Each occurence requiring only that I put my faith and trust in You. Each time I do, You prove Yourself to me.
I am reminded of the many times I chose to put trust in myself and my own abilities rather than the I AM. What great disaters I have made! Yet, He remains. I turn to Abba, putting my trust back where it belongs. He meets me there, in the mess, pulls me out, cleans me up. His grace deals with my sin. His mercy will deal with the consequences. His mercies are new every morning.
I answer the call. Lord, I put my trust in you. I will be active in your army again. I will not fear. You are the great I AM.
I hear Him nudging me to move forward, to surrender to the call, but I hesitate. I know what he is asking, and my flesh fights against it. I do not dread the task, but the consequenses of obedience. The enemy doesn't bother stagnat believers. If we are not doing anything to impact the kingdom, he leaves us alone. I like being left alone.
He is calling me. I must trust Him.
Trust is not a trait that I come by naturally. There are few people that I trust. A handful at best. All others it comes as a challenge to let them in. I have not had a scarring, traumatic past that would cause me to distrust. Yet, I have witnessed the fraigility, disloyalty, and betrayl of people on many, many, occasions.
Sometimes, even trusting my Heavenly Father is a challenge. I prefer to do things on my own---that never works out. Why is it easier for me to trust myself, a broken, frail human, than the Creator of the universe?
Thursday, I spent time with Him, aknowledging His call, confessing my fears and hesitations. He assures me through His still small voice and His Word that He is in control. It is safe to trust in Him.
He challenges with the question, Have I ever let you down? I know the answer. No. There have been times I have not understood His answers, or what He allows to happen, but He remains. He is I AM. He is faithful.
But, Lord, it is not the outcome I fear, I know you will come through. It is the trial itself that brings discomfort. It is the desert and darkness I dread. The feelings of vulnerability, the insecurities of the unknown. These, I could do without.
How would you grow? How would you see that I AM?
A little more time in the Word, a trip to the memory box, and I come back humbled. Lord, you are so faithful. Every trial You were there. Every hardship You were there. Every need you met. Every unknown you brought Your peace. Each occurence requiring only that I put my faith and trust in You. Each time I do, You prove Yourself to me.
I am reminded of the many times I chose to put trust in myself and my own abilities rather than the I AM. What great disaters I have made! Yet, He remains. I turn to Abba, putting my trust back where it belongs. He meets me there, in the mess, pulls me out, cleans me up. His grace deals with my sin. His mercy will deal with the consequences. His mercies are new every morning.
I answer the call. Lord, I put my trust in you. I will be active in your army again. I will not fear. You are the great I AM.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Thankfulness
My mom has joined the gratitude community, something another blogger started. You can go to her blog, then go to the other blog to find out more about it. http://elizabethfstewart.blogspot.com/
It is a list of 1000 things to be grateful for. What a nice idea. We have so much to be thankful for. Thankfulness gives you right perspective and brings you peace. It reminds us of His goodness and faithfulness.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7
I have not joined the community officially, but I want to start on a list. Perhaps I will have my kids work on a list, too. I want them to understand how much they have to be thankful for.
1. The Cross. Forgiveness.
2. His mercies that are new every morning and last forever.
3. A husband who loves me and beleives in me and is my best friend.
4. God's grace, faithfulness and protection that watched over our kids as they became forever ours.
5. Melaney. Despite her brokeness she manage to make two right decisions that will change history.
6. Grace that preserved my husband. When circumstances say he should have grown up to be a broken mess, God said, "No, I have other plans."
7. A loving Dad for my babies.
8. A good job for my husband that provides for all our needs.
9. The provision to be able to stay home with my kids and teach them.
10. The grace to teach them, even when I want to pull my hair out and send them to their rooms until the Lord returns.
11. God's Word. I love His Word.
12. The ABUNDANCE of food we are blessed with.
13. Clean, running water.
14. A Godly heritage.
15. My mom and dad. Seriously, they are the best.
16. My sisters who are my best friends.
17. Erin, my faithful forever friend (what a rareity that is!)
18. Matt. A faithful, loyal friend to my husband.
19. A husband who will eat anything, including my cooking.
20. My son's sensative heart.
21. My daughter's joyful and creative spirit.
22. Coffee and Chocolate. God's smartest idea yet!
23. The internet, computers, technology. Thank you, Lord, for giving man wisdom to invent these wonderful things!
24. Books filled with the wisdom of believers, past and present.
25. Elliana, God's promise fulfilled.
26. Friday school
27. Answered prayers
28. The opportunity to be apart of a historical revival.
29. The opportunity to minister to the poor and broken.
30. My church family.
31. Quiet moments with Jesus.
32. Good health for me and my family.
This is it for now. My kids are getting roudy. We are going to go to the library. And I am thankful for that, too.
It is a list of 1000 things to be grateful for. What a nice idea. We have so much to be thankful for. Thankfulness gives you right perspective and brings you peace. It reminds us of His goodness and faithfulness.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7
I have not joined the community officially, but I want to start on a list. Perhaps I will have my kids work on a list, too. I want them to understand how much they have to be thankful for.
1. The Cross. Forgiveness.
2. His mercies that are new every morning and last forever.
3. A husband who loves me and beleives in me and is my best friend.
4. God's grace, faithfulness and protection that watched over our kids as they became forever ours.
5. Melaney. Despite her brokeness she manage to make two right decisions that will change history.
6. Grace that preserved my husband. When circumstances say he should have grown up to be a broken mess, God said, "No, I have other plans."
7. A loving Dad for my babies.
8. A good job for my husband that provides for all our needs.
9. The provision to be able to stay home with my kids and teach them.
10. The grace to teach them, even when I want to pull my hair out and send them to their rooms until the Lord returns.
11. God's Word. I love His Word.
12. The ABUNDANCE of food we are blessed with.
13. Clean, running water.
14. A Godly heritage.
15. My mom and dad. Seriously, they are the best.
16. My sisters who are my best friends.
17. Erin, my faithful forever friend (what a rareity that is!)
18. Matt. A faithful, loyal friend to my husband.
19. A husband who will eat anything, including my cooking.
20. My son's sensative heart.
21. My daughter's joyful and creative spirit.
22. Coffee and Chocolate. God's smartest idea yet!
23. The internet, computers, technology. Thank you, Lord, for giving man wisdom to invent these wonderful things!
24. Books filled with the wisdom of believers, past and present.
25. Elliana, God's promise fulfilled.
26. Friday school
27. Answered prayers
28. The opportunity to be apart of a historical revival.
29. The opportunity to minister to the poor and broken.
30. My church family.
31. Quiet moments with Jesus.
32. Good health for me and my family.
This is it for now. My kids are getting roudy. We are going to go to the library. And I am thankful for that, too.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
World Changers in the Making
My hearts desire it that my children love and serve the Lord all the days of thier lives. My constant prayer is that they not go a single day out of relationship with Him. Nothing is more important. I want them to know Him personally, now and forever.
Growing up, I never saw Jesus or church as something my parents made me do. I have loved Jesus personally for as long as I can remember! I thank my mom and dad for that, and that is what I want for my kids.
I fall short in so many ways. I forget to pray. I skip Bible time. We miss family devotions. I lose my temper. I play on the computer instead of playing with them. I often feel like I am stumbling through this journey called motherhood, and if they turn out even halfway decent it will be a miracle! :-)
But then there are those moment when I see Jesus in my kids, and I know that dispite my nearly daily shortfalls, God's grace is suffecient, convering my mistakes. His love is penetrating their hearts.
A few days ago, my son said, "Mommy, wanna hear me sing a song?" I said sure, thinking he would make up something silly as he often does. Instead, he opened his mouth and out came a beautiful, spontanious love song to Jesus.
During church on Sundays I watch as my daughter worships with her whole heart in her own "big and fancy" way.
These moment remind me to keep on. Keep being real in front of them. Keep 'stumbling' through in front of them. Live determined in front of them. I know they are watching. I want them to see that I may make a dozen mistakes each day, but I turn to the One who forgives and ask Him for grace and mercy. I never stop turning to Jesus. I never stop wanting to know Him and wanting to be better in Him.
I am a great planner and organizer, but I am the worst at executing my own plans and organization. I am very easily distracted. I have a daily schedule, but I don't think I have followed it once. I have a daily, weekly, and monthly chore list, but have you seen my house lately? I have a detailed school outline and schedule, but this morning we just got through Enghlish.
However, this school year, I have been determined that if we accomplish nothing else, we will learn to daily spend time in His presence. All of my elaborate school plans have already gone to the wasteside, and we are once again 'playing it by ear'. But so far, we have done pretty good with this little discipline.
The first day of school, we made journals. They are nothing fancy. Just some construction paper with elementary writing paper on the inside, stapled together and decorated by the kids with stickers and markers.
We talked about what a journal is for, and I showed them mine. Then we turned on some music, got out our Bibles, and spent some time with Jesus. This has become their favorite time of the day.
My son can't read yet, but he looks through his comic Bible very seriously and copies some of the words into his journal. Some pages have pictures of people or a cross. My daughter can read a little, but if you saw her you would think she was intensly absorbing every word from her little pink Bible. Perhaps she is. She writes things in her journal like, "Love Jesus. Don't Lie. Obey your Mom and Dad. I love you. Love, Jesus. Jesus and Me. I love you Jesus."
Proverbs 22:6 in the Amplified says "Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it."
This is my favorite version of this scripture because it says "in keeping with his individual gift or bent." I was raised that way, and I want to raise my kids that way. I want them to serve and know and love Jesus through their own individual personality and gifts. I don't really know how exatly to do this, but I know the One who does. I know how to intruduce them to the One. I also know that as I trust in and rely on the One who Created my babies and gave them their individual gifts and bend that He will give me the wisdom and know how to train them right.
Oh, what a good God we serve. Now, I am off to go play games with my kids and make some lunch.
Growing up, I never saw Jesus or church as something my parents made me do. I have loved Jesus personally for as long as I can remember! I thank my mom and dad for that, and that is what I want for my kids.
I fall short in so many ways. I forget to pray. I skip Bible time. We miss family devotions. I lose my temper. I play on the computer instead of playing with them. I often feel like I am stumbling through this journey called motherhood, and if they turn out even halfway decent it will be a miracle! :-)
But then there are those moment when I see Jesus in my kids, and I know that dispite my nearly daily shortfalls, God's grace is suffecient, convering my mistakes. His love is penetrating their hearts.
A few days ago, my son said, "Mommy, wanna hear me sing a song?" I said sure, thinking he would make up something silly as he often does. Instead, he opened his mouth and out came a beautiful, spontanious love song to Jesus.
During church on Sundays I watch as my daughter worships with her whole heart in her own "big and fancy" way.
These moment remind me to keep on. Keep being real in front of them. Keep 'stumbling' through in front of them. Live determined in front of them. I know they are watching. I want them to see that I may make a dozen mistakes each day, but I turn to the One who forgives and ask Him for grace and mercy. I never stop turning to Jesus. I never stop wanting to know Him and wanting to be better in Him.
I am a great planner and organizer, but I am the worst at executing my own plans and organization. I am very easily distracted. I have a daily schedule, but I don't think I have followed it once. I have a daily, weekly, and monthly chore list, but have you seen my house lately? I have a detailed school outline and schedule, but this morning we just got through Enghlish.
However, this school year, I have been determined that if we accomplish nothing else, we will learn to daily spend time in His presence. All of my elaborate school plans have already gone to the wasteside, and we are once again 'playing it by ear'. But so far, we have done pretty good with this little discipline.
The first day of school, we made journals. They are nothing fancy. Just some construction paper with elementary writing paper on the inside, stapled together and decorated by the kids with stickers and markers.
We talked about what a journal is for, and I showed them mine. Then we turned on some music, got out our Bibles, and spent some time with Jesus. This has become their favorite time of the day.
My son can't read yet, but he looks through his comic Bible very seriously and copies some of the words into his journal. Some pages have pictures of people or a cross. My daughter can read a little, but if you saw her you would think she was intensly absorbing every word from her little pink Bible. Perhaps she is. She writes things in her journal like, "Love Jesus. Don't Lie. Obey your Mom and Dad. I love you. Love, Jesus. Jesus and Me. I love you Jesus."
Proverbs 22:6 in the Amplified says "Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it."
This is my favorite version of this scripture because it says "in keeping with his individual gift or bent." I was raised that way, and I want to raise my kids that way. I want them to serve and know and love Jesus through their own individual personality and gifts. I don't really know how exatly to do this, but I know the One who does. I know how to intruduce them to the One. I also know that as I trust in and rely on the One who Created my babies and gave them their individual gifts and bend that He will give me the wisdom and know how to train them right.
Oh, what a good God we serve. Now, I am off to go play games with my kids and make some lunch.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
What's with the Name?
Why did I pick the Journey of a Wannabe World Changer?
My sister sent me a link to a blog. The lady's blog had these beautiful pictures, poetic words, and seriously creative ideas. Oh, the envy!
I am so very not creative. I like to write, but it never sound eloquent, and my English and grammar are horrible! My house does not look like a magazine cover. Nothing matches, and would rather go read a book or play Sims than to decorate it---I am excited just to keep it clean for more than a day. I home school my kids, but struggle to just get through the material. Our arts and crafts consist of markers, stickers, glue and free reign to do whatever because mommy doesn't have a clue. For their spiritual education we read the Bible and pray. Nothing creative there either.
But, oh, how I would love to be a creative person like the one in the blog. I wish I had inspiring and creative ideas for teaching my kids to connect with Jesus. I wish we could do crafts together and they turn out good enough to sell. I would love if people walked into my house and went WOW.
But, I am not. So, it got me to thinking, who am I then? What is my claim to fame? I am a world changer....or at least I want to be. I wanna travel the world and tell people about Jesus. I wanna go into tribes that have never heard about Jesus and tell them. I wanna translate the Bible into languages that have yet to be discovered. I wanna be a 'Reinhard Bonnke' or 'Jim Elliot' or 'John G Lake'. As the old song goes, "I wanna be a history maker"!! That is what I desire, and I believe that is who God created me to be.
This doesn't mean I will someday be known for preaching to tens of thousands, or for dying in a village as one of the first missionaries to go there, or for healing thousands. It would be really awesome if I were, but I don't have to to be a world changer.
To be a world changer, I need to be obedient. I must seek Him and know Him, and then go and do when he says. Being a world changer isn't about changing the world that we see, but about changing the unseen, the everlasting.
I know that God has blessed me with the opportunity to change the world for two amazing little kids, and if that is all I accomplish in this life, I would be satisfied. I fail at this task miserably some times, but I get up, ask for forgiveness and grace, and try again. I know that were it not for the Grace of God and our obedience that their lives would be a story of darkness, devastation and brokenness rather than a story of life, hope, and promise.
It is my hope that as I strive to be a world changer for Jesus that I will teach them how to be one, too.
My sister sent me a link to a blog. The lady's blog had these beautiful pictures, poetic words, and seriously creative ideas. Oh, the envy!
I am so very not creative. I like to write, but it never sound eloquent, and my English and grammar are horrible! My house does not look like a magazine cover. Nothing matches, and would rather go read a book or play Sims than to decorate it---I am excited just to keep it clean for more than a day. I home school my kids, but struggle to just get through the material. Our arts and crafts consist of markers, stickers, glue and free reign to do whatever because mommy doesn't have a clue. For their spiritual education we read the Bible and pray. Nothing creative there either.
But, oh, how I would love to be a creative person like the one in the blog. I wish I had inspiring and creative ideas for teaching my kids to connect with Jesus. I wish we could do crafts together and they turn out good enough to sell. I would love if people walked into my house and went WOW.
But, I am not. So, it got me to thinking, who am I then? What is my claim to fame? I am a world changer....or at least I want to be. I wanna travel the world and tell people about Jesus. I wanna go into tribes that have never heard about Jesus and tell them. I wanna translate the Bible into languages that have yet to be discovered. I wanna be a 'Reinhard Bonnke' or 'Jim Elliot' or 'John G Lake'. As the old song goes, "I wanna be a history maker"!! That is what I desire, and I believe that is who God created me to be.
This doesn't mean I will someday be known for preaching to tens of thousands, or for dying in a village as one of the first missionaries to go there, or for healing thousands. It would be really awesome if I were, but I don't have to to be a world changer.
To be a world changer, I need to be obedient. I must seek Him and know Him, and then go and do when he says. Being a world changer isn't about changing the world that we see, but about changing the unseen, the everlasting.
I know that God has blessed me with the opportunity to change the world for two amazing little kids, and if that is all I accomplish in this life, I would be satisfied. I fail at this task miserably some times, but I get up, ask for forgiveness and grace, and try again. I know that were it not for the Grace of God and our obedience that their lives would be a story of darkness, devastation and brokenness rather than a story of life, hope, and promise.
It is my hope that as I strive to be a world changer for Jesus that I will teach them how to be one, too.
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