Posts
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
We're on the road and I am blogging...
I have two blogs. This blogs is for my personal thoughts/reflections. The other is for our family and ministry, to keep everyone updated. I have been blogging over at Ask For the Nations during our trip to South Carolina, so for updates, check it out and follow me at: http://afnministries.blogspot.com/
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Truth vs Protection
It is not a secret nor a forbidden topic. My children are adopted. It does not define them, but it is a part of who they are. Adoption is a beautiful, Biblical principal. My children know their birth mother, and see her more often than the standard open adoption calls for.
My children know their adoption stories. They come from the same mother and father. My son, was 'ours' since before He was born. I was blessed that our birth mom allowed me to go to every single dr appointment, and allowed me, my sister, and my mother in the birth room with her. I stayed at the hospital with my son, and aside from the two hours of the adoption paper signing, he never left my sight.
Son doesn't ask much about Birth Mother or his adoption. All he remembers, all he has ever know, is us as mom and dad. For now, that is all he cares about.
My daughter is 11 months older than my son. At 2 1/2 yrs old, she came to live with us. Temporarily at first, then forever. Daughter remembers being with her birth mom, and remembers coming to be with us. Her transition into our family was difficult at times. She was too young to understand the changes.
We have talked about her adoption story often. Each time, a little more information is given, daughter's curiosity to understand becoming stronger.
Yesterday, my daughter showed me that she is growing up. She is ready and wants to know more of the truth of her past. My standard answers were being challenged.
I am faces with a decision. I can continue to sugar coat the truth for the sake of "protection," or I can be fully honest, hoping that the whole truth will bring peace to her little spirit.
I choose full honesty, in words she understands. She listens intently, asking questions as we go. Our talk finishes and she gives me a big hug. "Mommy, thanks for telling me about my story."
My children know their adoption stories. They come from the same mother and father. My son, was 'ours' since before He was born. I was blessed that our birth mom allowed me to go to every single dr appointment, and allowed me, my sister, and my mother in the birth room with her. I stayed at the hospital with my son, and aside from the two hours of the adoption paper signing, he never left my sight.
Son doesn't ask much about Birth Mother or his adoption. All he remembers, all he has ever know, is us as mom and dad. For now, that is all he cares about.
My daughter is 11 months older than my son. At 2 1/2 yrs old, she came to live with us. Temporarily at first, then forever. Daughter remembers being with her birth mom, and remembers coming to be with us. Her transition into our family was difficult at times. She was too young to understand the changes.
We have talked about her adoption story often. Each time, a little more information is given, daughter's curiosity to understand becoming stronger.
Yesterday, my daughter showed me that she is growing up. She is ready and wants to know more of the truth of her past. My standard answers were being challenged.
I am faces with a decision. I can continue to sugar coat the truth for the sake of "protection," or I can be fully honest, hoping that the whole truth will bring peace to her little spirit.
I choose full honesty, in words she understands. She listens intently, asking questions as we go. Our talk finishes and she gives me a big hug. "Mommy, thanks for telling me about my story."
Monday, June 21, 2010
Revival Past
Father's Day 1995. God chose to pour out His Spirit on a small town in the panhandle of Florida. A modern-day revival that lasted over five years. My children will read about the Pensacola Outpouring in Christian history books, just as I read about the Welsh Revival and Azusa Street.
I was there. I am a product of revival. For two years, I spent countless hours in His Presence. Seeking His face, experiencing His overwhelming love and power. I saw thousands saved, healed, delivered, baptized. I learned from, listened to, and was prayed for by many amazing men and women of God.
Ten years later, reflecting back, I remember what my professors said: revival is not enough. An experience will not sustain you. Only a relationship can sustain you. Relationships take work and time. They have highs and lows. Don't let go of the Father's love. Stay connected to His heart. Seek His heart and His presence on your own.
I nodded in agreement, thinking His manifest presence would always be here. I did not understand the warning they were issuing. Life outside the "revival bubble" was brutal. The Psalmist words, "better is one day in your presence than a thousand elsewhere," took on new meaning.
Not everyone who was there survived the aftermath that is "normal life". Many have fallen away or returned to a mediocre life. I, too, have failed to maintain the stamina of revival. Mediocrity is commonplace, the days of His manifest presence far and few between.
My relationship with Jesus, founded fourteen years before my revival experience, has sustained me. It has lacked perfection and passion, yet the longing has never lacked. His grace, His forever faithfulness, His everlasting love keeps me longing for more of Him. Longing to know Him. Longing to see Him.
..."Please. Let me see your Glory." YHWH (Yahweh) said, "I will make my Goodness pass right in front of you; I'll call out the name, YHWH, right before you...But you may not see my face. No one can see me and live...Look, here is a place right beside me. Put yourself on this rock. When my Glory passes by, I'll put you in the cleft of the rock and cover you with my hand until I've passed by. Then I'll take my hand away and you'll see my back. But you won't see my face." (Ex 33:18-23)
When You said, “Seek My face,” My heart said to You, “Your face, LORD, I will seek.” (Ps 27:8)
I was there. I am a product of revival. For two years, I spent countless hours in His Presence. Seeking His face, experiencing His overwhelming love and power. I saw thousands saved, healed, delivered, baptized. I learned from, listened to, and was prayed for by many amazing men and women of God.
Ten years later, reflecting back, I remember what my professors said: revival is not enough. An experience will not sustain you. Only a relationship can sustain you. Relationships take work and time. They have highs and lows. Don't let go of the Father's love. Stay connected to His heart. Seek His heart and His presence on your own.
I nodded in agreement, thinking His manifest presence would always be here. I did not understand the warning they were issuing. Life outside the "revival bubble" was brutal. The Psalmist words, "better is one day in your presence than a thousand elsewhere," took on new meaning.
Not everyone who was there survived the aftermath that is "normal life". Many have fallen away or returned to a mediocre life. I, too, have failed to maintain the stamina of revival. Mediocrity is commonplace, the days of His manifest presence far and few between.
My relationship with Jesus, founded fourteen years before my revival experience, has sustained me. It has lacked perfection and passion, yet the longing has never lacked. His grace, His forever faithfulness, His everlasting love keeps me longing for more of Him. Longing to know Him. Longing to see Him.
..."Please. Let me see your Glory." YHWH (Yahweh) said, "I will make my Goodness pass right in front of you; I'll call out the name, YHWH, right before you...But you may not see my face. No one can see me and live...Look, here is a place right beside me. Put yourself on this rock. When my Glory passes by, I'll put you in the cleft of the rock and cover you with my hand until I've passed by. Then I'll take my hand away and you'll see my back. But you won't see my face." (Ex 33:18-23)
When You said, “Seek My face,” My heart said to You, “Your face, LORD, I will seek.” (Ps 27:8)
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Father to the Fartherless
"Father of orphans, champion of widows, is God in his holy house. " Ps. 68:5 (msg) "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." Js. 1:27
http://www.growninmyheart.com/what-i-wanted-to-say-adoption-and-the-view
I read this blog today. Of course, there is a special place in my heart for adoption. There are so many children all around the world and in our back yard in need of families. I wish we were ready to adopt again right now!!!!!
Personally, I think that everyone who calls themselves a Believer in Jesus Christ should be involved in adoption or the care of orphans in one way or another. No matter your circumstance, there is an adoption/orphan circumstance that will mesh with your specific situation. Honestly, the possibilities and opportunities are limitless.
Don't have a lot of money? Adopting wards of the state cost virtually nothing.
Don't have the patience for baby or toddler-hood? Older children are the least likely to be adopted, and are more available than younger children.
Single, but have the heart of a mother/father? You're still eligible for adoption in many countries for children of all ages.
Can you only tolerate children in small doses? Become a temporary or emergency foster home. You can offer hope and love that will see a child through their scariest and darkest moments.
Are you an empty nester, or do you have a heart to help teens or young adults? The following paragraph really tugged at my heart.
"I wanted to talk about the 18-year-olds I regularly see on adoption photolistings. Kids like Percell who, despite being old enough to live independently, place themselves on national photolistings because they desperately want to be adopted. Because, in Percell’s words, he “wants to become a member of a permanent family”. I wanted to talk about what life must be like for Percell, and other kids like him, who age out of the fostercare system despite a deep desire to have a family even as they enter adulthood."
Even if you can't adopt or foster children of any age, you can mentor kid, and of course, giving financially helps, too.
Tomorrow is Father's Day. I am blessed because I have a WONDERFUL Dad. I belong. I have never---not even for a moment---experiences a lack of Fatherly love and acceptance.
Thousands of children (and adults) will never----not even for a moment---experience fatherly love and acceptance in their life time. This breaks my heart. It breaks my Heavenly Father's heart.
Let's be the church. Let's take care of the orphans and the fatherless.
http://www.growninmyheart.com/what-i-wanted-to-say-adoption-and-the-view
I read this blog today. Of course, there is a special place in my heart for adoption. There are so many children all around the world and in our back yard in need of families. I wish we were ready to adopt again right now!!!!!
Personally, I think that everyone who calls themselves a Believer in Jesus Christ should be involved in adoption or the care of orphans in one way or another. No matter your circumstance, there is an adoption/orphan circumstance that will mesh with your specific situation. Honestly, the possibilities and opportunities are limitless.
Don't have a lot of money? Adopting wards of the state cost virtually nothing.
Don't have the patience for baby or toddler-hood? Older children are the least likely to be adopted, and are more available than younger children.
Single, but have the heart of a mother/father? You're still eligible for adoption in many countries for children of all ages.
Can you only tolerate children in small doses? Become a temporary or emergency foster home. You can offer hope and love that will see a child through their scariest and darkest moments.
Are you an empty nester, or do you have a heart to help teens or young adults? The following paragraph really tugged at my heart.
"I wanted to talk about the 18-year-olds I regularly see on adoption photolistings. Kids like Percell who, despite being old enough to live independently, place themselves on national photolistings because they desperately want to be adopted. Because, in Percell’s words, he “wants to become a member of a permanent family”. I wanted to talk about what life must be like for Percell, and other kids like him, who age out of the fostercare system despite a deep desire to have a family even as they enter adulthood."
Even if you can't adopt or foster children of any age, you can mentor kid, and of course, giving financially helps, too.
Tomorrow is Father's Day. I am blessed because I have a WONDERFUL Dad. I belong. I have never---not even for a moment---experiences a lack of Fatherly love and acceptance.
Thousands of children (and adults) will never----not even for a moment---experience fatherly love and acceptance in their life time. This breaks my heart. It breaks my Heavenly Father's heart.
Let's be the church. Let's take care of the orphans and the fatherless.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
So long good impressions, hello total embarassment.
I don't embarrass easily. Seriously, it takes A LOT to turn my face red. Right now, my face is red. Very red.
Let me set the picture. It's 10am. I am in my pj's (a tank and sweats), hair greasy, face unwashed. I am listening to IHOP while I get my chores done for the day.
My niece is here and my kids are doing a pretty great job at keeping her entertained, as usual.
A few minutes earlier we had turned Skype on to see if Auntie Katie was at home. She wasn't.
I am in the kitchen. The computer with IHOP playing is in the family room.
"Mom, E is pushing buttons on the computer."
"E, no, no."
"Son, get away from the computer."
"Son, why are you waving at the computer?"
"E turned on the camera."
"What? How in the world did she do that!"
In all my greasy, pj, glory, I go to the computer, quite unprepared for what I am about to find.
E did not just turned on a camera. E has called someone. And she hasn't just called any one. She has called Mr. C.
Yep. My son isn't just waving to himself. He's waving and making funny faces at my former professor.
I am suddenly very aware of how unrepresentable I look.
I sit down and apologize, explaining what happened. He is very gracious.
I am ready to quickly end this call an go craw into a hole. Instead, he's ready to chat. Turns out, he was in the middle of sending my husband and I a message.
As we chat (me still very aware of my less than acceptable appearance), my children (with my niece going right along with them) decide this is a good time to show off how silly they can be. They continue to wave at the camera, make faces at the camera, make silly noises at the camera, kick at the camera, show their toys to the camera.....you get the idea.
Here I am, trying to be "professional" and save what little dignity I have left, while my kids are doing their best to completely sabotage my efforts.
Eventually they get so rowdy I can't even hear what he is saying. Our call ends, and I go looking for that hole to crawl in and die of complete embarrassment.
As embarrassed as I am, I see the humor in the situation, and chuckle to myself.
Once again, my kids have succeeded at keeping me humble.
:-)
Let me set the picture. It's 10am. I am in my pj's (a tank and sweats), hair greasy, face unwashed. I am listening to IHOP while I get my chores done for the day.
My niece is here and my kids are doing a pretty great job at keeping her entertained, as usual.
A few minutes earlier we had turned Skype on to see if Auntie Katie was at home. She wasn't.
I am in the kitchen. The computer with IHOP playing is in the family room.
"Mom, E is pushing buttons on the computer."
"E, no, no."
"Son, get away from the computer."
"Son, why are you waving at the computer?"
"E turned on the camera."
"What? How in the world did she do that!"
In all my greasy, pj, glory, I go to the computer, quite unprepared for what I am about to find.
E did not just turned on a camera. E has called someone. And she hasn't just called any one. She has called Mr. C.
Yep. My son isn't just waving to himself. He's waving and making funny faces at my former professor.
I am suddenly very aware of how unrepresentable I look.
I sit down and apologize, explaining what happened. He is very gracious.
I am ready to quickly end this call an go craw into a hole. Instead, he's ready to chat. Turns out, he was in the middle of sending my husband and I a message.
As we chat (me still very aware of my less than acceptable appearance), my children (with my niece going right along with them) decide this is a good time to show off how silly they can be. They continue to wave at the camera, make faces at the camera, make silly noises at the camera, kick at the camera, show their toys to the camera.....you get the idea.
Here I am, trying to be "professional" and save what little dignity I have left, while my kids are doing their best to completely sabotage my efforts.
Eventually they get so rowdy I can't even hear what he is saying. Our call ends, and I go looking for that hole to crawl in and die of complete embarrassment.
As embarrassed as I am, I see the humor in the situation, and chuckle to myself.
Once again, my kids have succeeded at keeping me humble.
:-)
Friday, May 28, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
MY MOMMY
Ok, so I just blogged about the journey of motherhood for me. Now it's time to brag about my Mommy.
My mom is one of the most amazing women I know. She is strong, determined, kind and caring.
She has given my a Godly heritage that I will pass on to my kids. She taught me to love Jesus by example. I can still see her in her room praying next to her bed. I can hear her singing worship songs as she cleans the house. I can see her Bible, all marked up. I can see her showing love and forgiveness towards others, even those who hurt her.
Being a mom myself now, I truly appreciate all she has done for me. I know I was a thousand times more ornery than my children are, so how she survived raising me is nothing less than a miracle.
I have just as many fun memories of my mom as I do serious ones. I thought I would list a few here.
Playing name that tune.
Hiking up Multnomah Falls with our friends, asking how was she and her friend were able to drag their big bottoms up the hill. (It's a wonder she didn't smack me for that one!)
Going on the roller coasters because Dad was too chicken to take us.
Mom's corny jokes.
Rending the bike cart at seaside.
Mom sledding with us in the back yard.
Happy Mother's Day, mom. I love you!!!
My mom is one of the most amazing women I know. She is strong, determined, kind and caring.
She has given my a Godly heritage that I will pass on to my kids. She taught me to love Jesus by example. I can still see her in her room praying next to her bed. I can hear her singing worship songs as she cleans the house. I can see her Bible, all marked up. I can see her showing love and forgiveness towards others, even those who hurt her.
Being a mom myself now, I truly appreciate all she has done for me. I know I was a thousand times more ornery than my children are, so how she survived raising me is nothing less than a miracle.
I have just as many fun memories of my mom as I do serious ones. I thought I would list a few here.
Playing name that tune.
Hiking up Multnomah Falls with our friends, asking how was she and her friend were able to drag their big bottoms up the hill. (It's a wonder she didn't smack me for that one!)
Going on the roller coasters because Dad was too chicken to take us.
Mom's corny jokes.
Rending the bike cart at seaside.
Mom sledding with us in the back yard.
Happy Mother's Day, mom. I love you!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)