It's a New Year!!

Tomorrow marks the start of a year; a new decade.

The first decade of the 21st century brought marriage, two children, and numerous trials and triumphs, and countless failures and victories. Through each mistake and each success, growth has occurred; beneficial lessons have been learned.

The final year of this decade has been filled with really BIG changes for my family. It has been a year of moving forward and stepping out in faith like never before. God has a way of stretching your faith as far as it can go, and then when you don't thing you can stretch any more, He shows you His faithfulness and you find yourself expanding, growing into His fullness.

As I think upon the new year, and the new decade, I begin to get butterflies. I know that big things are in store, promises are going to be fulfilled. I want with all my heart to fulfill His perfect will and do the work He has for me to do on this earth.

However, as much as I want to do His work and share His love and salvation with others, there is something I want a thousand times more. A few months back, during a prophetic prayer, my Abba Father said to me, it's your turn, ask whatever you want, it's yours.


One word came to mind. Abide. I want to Abide in Him and He in me. I want to know Him. I want to know and fully understand the Father's love. I want to know the Son and understand the fullness of His sacrifice and suffering.

And so, this is my prayer for me and my family: Father, may I Abide in You, and You in me. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can I, unless I abide in You.

Happy New Year everyone! May His blessings and peace abound in your life this year.

The best is yet to come....

Eternity

My Grandma is sick. My best friend is in pre-labor. It's the holidays. I want to go home.

It is moments like these that I remind myself, it's not about the now, its about the forever. If all there was to life was compacted into the 75 ish years we receive on earth, goodness knows I wouldn't be spending it here! I wouldn't be itching to live out my life in a third world country with few creature comforts.

If it weren't for eternity, I would have continued my comfortable life in my comfortable city with my comfortable family and friends. I would watch my niece grow up. I would enjoy the fellowship of all my mommy friends as our kids grow up, side by side. I would happily listen to the banter between my husband and his closest friend. I would be content knowing that my children had the love and support of extended family, just minutes away.

If it weren't for eternity, I wouldn't be living by faith, dependent on God to pay the rent. I would put down roots. I would be successful and financially secure.

But the truth is, JESUS is REAL. This life is just a small bleep on the radar of eternity. I will live forever. My Grandma will live forever. I will have eternity to be with the ones I love. I will have eternity to be comfortable and secure.

What I do not have eternity to do is tell others about Jesus, the WAY to eternal life. That is one thing that can only be done here on earth.

So, on days like today, when all I really want to do is be with my Grandma, be with my friend as she welcomes her new son into the world, and celebrate Christmas at my Mom's house like I have done every year since I was born, I think about....


...and I remember. Their Eternity is worth my discomfort. Their Soul is worth so much more than my tiny sacrifice here on earth.

I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. But its death will produce many new kernels—a plentiful harvest of new lives. Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity. Anyone who wants to be my disciple must follow me, because my servants must be where I am. And the Father will honor anyone who serves me.
John 12:24-26

My Pity Party

Yesterday, I was feeling very sorry for myself. I love holidays with my family. My mom goes out of her way to make everything beautiful and yummy. We eat a lot, watch Christmas movies, and look through all the Black Friday ads. Often, we spend Thanksgiving at the beach, which is my favorite!

This year, we were going to be with my hubby's family. We haven't been with his family for any holidays for nine years! It's always been too expensive to fly during thanksgiving or Christmas.
So, now that we are locals, it's finally their turn.

At the last minute, the family decided to go out of town. They had their reasons, and we understood. We couldn't go, so, here we are, alone. Hubby has been working in his home town, and had to work the day before and after the holiday, so we weren't even home alone in our house, we were alone at his Dad's house. At least for me, it was not the most ideal of circumstances.

Hub's childhood best friends invited us to their home for dinner. They are very kind and generous people and we had a good time.

Still, it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to be with my family, and if I couldn't then at least it was because I was being a kind wife and sacrificing to be with his family. Now, neither applied and that just stinks!

I tried to shake my bad mood all day. I mean, I realize I have nothing to complain about. I get to eat more food today than most people in the world will eat for an entire week. I have a home, clothes, and family.

My mind knew these facts, but my soul still wanted to pout.

Then, a face book post snapped me out of my self pity state. The post was a link to a blog about a little boy who is dying of cancer. His body is shutting down, and this will be his last Thanksgiving.

The blog linked was shared by a man who has every reason in the world to complain, but, at least in my interactions with him, rarely does. His daughter is in remission from cancer. His wife is dying of ALS. This, too, may be her last Thanksgiving.

The truth is, I am blessed beyond measure and reason. I have nothing, ever, to really complain about, and in all things I should give thanks.

Thank YOU, LORD, for all your goodness, kindness, and mercy, that you have shown to me and my family. Forgive my grumbling and complaining spirit.

You want me to do what?

Throughout the Body of Christ, God is restoring the arts. Creativity and Expression are gifts from the Father. The ability to paint, draw, write songs, poetry, play music, all are reflections of His heart. Beautiful worship presented at His feet.

I appreciate this movement. But, this is one river of the spirit I don't tend to wade into.

However, on Wednesday, our class assignment was to write a song or poem. WHAT? I don't think so. Quickly after, I put it out of my mind. Teasing at home that I would have my creative daughter do the assignment for me.

Then today, when riding in the car, watching her giggle, seeing her birth mom's features shine through, the Lord put a poem in my heart. It is not fancy or well done, but it will pass for the assignment.

Abba’s Gift

You are present in every giggle,
Each smile, a reflection, personal.

A twinkling eye beaming forth a story of grace,
Your selfless love shining through her face.

An earthly portrait of an Eternal mystery.
Adoption, Abba’s gift to me.

Latest Blog on AFN site

Check it out....

http://afnministries.blogspot.com/2010/09/has-it-really-been-month.html

Update on the family.

We're on the road and I am blogging...

I have two blogs. This blogs is for my personal thoughts/reflections. The other is for our family and ministry, to keep everyone updated. I have been blogging over at Ask For the Nations during our trip to South Carolina, so for updates, check it out and follow me at: http://afnministries.blogspot.com/

Truth vs Protection

It is not a secret nor a forbidden topic. My children are adopted. It does not define them, but it is a part of who they are. Adoption is a beautiful, Biblical principal. My children know their birth mother, and see her more often than the standard open adoption calls for.

My children know their adoption stories. They come from the same mother and father. My son, was 'ours' since before He was born. I was blessed that our birth mom allowed me to go to every single dr appointment, and allowed me, my sister, and my mother in the birth room with her. I stayed at the hospital with my son, and aside from the two hours of the adoption paper signing, he never left my sight.

Son doesn't ask much about Birth Mother or his adoption. All he remembers, all he has ever know, is us as mom and dad. For now, that is all he cares about.

My daughter is 11 months older than my son. At 2 1/2 yrs old, she came to live with us. Temporarily at first, then forever. Daughter remembers being with her birth mom, and remembers coming to be with us. Her transition into our family was difficult at times. She was too young to understand the changes.

We have talked about her adoption story often. Each time, a little more information is given, daughter's curiosity to understand becoming stronger.

Yesterday, my daughter showed me that she is growing up. She is ready and wants to know more of the truth of her past. My standard answers were being challenged.

I am faces with a decision. I can continue to sugar coat the truth for the sake of "protection," or I can be fully honest, hoping that the whole truth will bring peace to her little spirit.

I choose full honesty, in words she understands. She listens intently, asking questions as we go. Our talk finishes and she gives me a big hug. "Mommy, thanks for telling me about my story."