Thursday, July 8, 2010

Truth vs Protection

It is not a secret nor a forbidden topic. My children are adopted. It does not define them, but it is a part of who they are. Adoption is a beautiful, Biblical principal. My children know their birth mother, and see her more often than the standard open adoption calls for.

My children know their adoption stories. They come from the same mother and father. My son, was 'ours' since before He was born. I was blessed that our birth mom allowed me to go to every single dr appointment, and allowed me, my sister, and my mother in the birth room with her. I stayed at the hospital with my son, and aside from the two hours of the adoption paper signing, he never left my sight.

Son doesn't ask much about Birth Mother or his adoption. All he remembers, all he has ever know, is us as mom and dad. For now, that is all he cares about.

My daughter is 11 months older than my son. At 2 1/2 yrs old, she came to live with us. Temporarily at first, then forever. Daughter remembers being with her birth mom, and remembers coming to be with us. Her transition into our family was difficult at times. She was too young to understand the changes.

We have talked about her adoption story often. Each time, a little more information is given, daughter's curiosity to understand becoming stronger.

Yesterday, my daughter showed me that she is growing up. She is ready and wants to know more of the truth of her past. My standard answers were being challenged.

I am faces with a decision. I can continue to sugar coat the truth for the sake of "protection," or I can be fully honest, hoping that the whole truth will bring peace to her little spirit.

I choose full honesty, in words she understands. She listens intently, asking questions as we go. Our talk finishes and she gives me a big hug. "Mommy, thanks for telling me about my story."