Thursday, April 30, 2009

Obediently seeking...

Today, my daughter disobeyed. Deliberatly chose to disobey. It wasn't one of those childish, ops, I forgot. Or, I'll do what you say but only halfway sort of deals. It was a blatant thought out choice to disobey. This is not the first time she has done this, and I doubt it will be the last...after all, she is only five...but it caught me off guard (she's been a really good girl lately), and got me to thinking.

Daughter wanted a brownie. She asked me for the brownie, but I said no. I didn't give her a reason, I just said no. I had a reason, I just didn't tell her. (I was too preoccupied at the time, to be honest.) My reason was good, and for her best intrest. I was about to make dinner, and didn't want her to spoil her appetite. I would give her the brownie after dinner.

About 15 minutes later, I go down to the kitchen and the brownie is gone. Not only is the brownie gone, be the evidence, the empty pan, had been strategically placed in the sink with the other dirty dishes. BUSTED.

I asked why she ate it and she told me because she wanted the brownie and there was only one left. So, basically, she was afraid that if she waited and obey the thing she really wanted would no longer be there.

Oh, how often am I like her with God? He tells me no. He says no, knowing full well why he is telling me no. Often it's simply because it's not time, other things must be done first. But, in my immaturity, in my selfishness, in my desire to satisfy my want now, I eat the brownie anyway, worried that if I wait and trust God, the brownie will be gone and I will miss out.

Daughter didn't ask me why she couldn't have the brownie. All she heard from me was no, and left it at that. She didn't take the time to seek out the reason for the no from mommy. Instead, she immediatly focused on figuring out a way to get what she wanted despite what I said.

I do that. I ask God, and He says no. And instead of seeking Him for the why, I just go on trying to figure out how to do it on my own anyway.

I find myself doing that even now. I want to go back to africa yesterday! I don't want 2 months every eight years! Every day that goes by with no activity focused on getting us back there; every day that goes by with us just striving to make it here, let alone save to return, I begin to panic. I get anxious and want to start figuring out a way to make it happen on my own. Instead, I should be seeking Him! Asking him the why! Why am I here, and what do You want to happen before I can "eat the brownie".

I believe we do not seek him about the reason for His answer enough, and we really should. You may discover that the no is really just a 'not right now' or you may discover that it really is NO. You may also discover, as I have several times, that there are just some things beyond our human understanding and we just have to trust that God is God. But, I believe that more often than not, we will discover a father's heart for His child. You will discover that He desires only good things for His children, and all that he allows or doesn't allow has eternal purpose.

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Mt 6:33

P.S. Key to seeking: LISTENING :-)

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